TEXT A

Feeling Free

I woke up feeling cranky. I didn't want to do housework, though the laundry was piling up. I didn't want to read the work I brought home from the office. I didn't want to do anything that resembled responsible behavior. It was that kind of day.

As I drank my morning tea, I thought I felt a headache coming on. Yes, there it was, a dull throb just behind my eyes. Maybe I should go back to bed until it subsided. As I put the dishes in the sink, it seemed that my muscles were beginning to ache. Or was the ache in my joints? That could mean I was coming down with the flu. Everyone I knew had the flu this year. Why should I be the one to escape it? I absolutely should be in bed.

I shuffled back to bed, wiggled under the covers and shut my eyes. Another couple of hours of sleep would be so nice, but I was already completely awake. I ought to get up. But no, there was that headache and the beginning of a sniffle. Better get the tissues.

On my way back from the bathroom with a family-sized tissue box, I stopped to grab that big new novel I had bought but had no time to read. I opened the book and settled against the pillows.

The morning was moving along and so was my reading. Another twenty pages and I was stretching. I should try to crack the report I was working on. I should at least get up and do the wash. What if I was contagious? I certainly didn't want to spread any germs. The wash could wait. My family was resourceful enough to scrounge clothing for the next day.

Maybe I wasn't actually getting the flu. I didn't really want to be sick. To be truthful, all I wanted was a little time off. (3)I needed to nurture myself away from people, chores, career and the outside world. Did I have to wait to be sick to do that? As a child, the only respite from school or family chores was illness. But I wasn't a child any more. Did I have to manufacture symptoms to provide myself with an excuse? No, I decided, I didn't.

I talked to myself. Okay, I said, you need a day off. Admit it. Accept it. Toss out the guilt and enjoy a mini-vacation. What would you like to do? Read? You're already doing that. Pamper yourself? Take a bubble bath. Be a hermit? Let the machine answer the phone.

I poured half the bottle of bath gel into the streaming water and added a hearty handful of chamomile bath salts. Then I lit a vanilla-scented candle and gingerly stepped into the bathtub. With a grateful sigh, I immersed myself in my homemade spa. I heard the phone ring somewhere off in the distance and smiled.

It is funny how the aches subsided in the heat of the tub. They just slipped away with the last of the bubbles down the drain. My head felt just fine, the throb replaced by a sense of well-being.

By late afternoon, I was back at it, refreshed physically, mentally and emotionally. And rather than feeling helpless, I felt empowered. I had given myself permission to listen and respond to my needs, to care for myself the way I tended to my family. I didn't need the crutch of illness to justify a rest. It was such a simple awareness, but then isn't it the simple things that set us free?

参考翻译：

感觉自由

我醒来，感觉脾气暴躁。我不想做家务,尽管要洗的衣服堆积了一大堆。我不想读我下班后买的书，我不想做任何看起来像是要负责任的事情。就是这样的一天。

当我喝早茶的时候，我想我感觉开始头痛了。是的，就是那样,一阵阵疼痛从我的眼后袭来。可能我应该躺回床上直到疼痛消退。当我把盘子放到水槽里的时候，似乎我的肌肉也开始疼痛,或是关节在疼?这可能意味着我感冒了。今年我认识的每一个人都患感冒了。为什么我能成为那个逃掉的人呢?我必须躺床上去。

我拖着脚蹭到床上,在被子里扭了扭身子,闭上眼睛。再睡上几个小时必定是会极好的，可是我已经完全没有睡意了。我应该起床,但是不行,头痛还开始抽鼻子了。最好拿点纸巾去。

我拿了家用纸巾盒,从卫生间走回来的路上，我停了一下,把新买的但却一直没时间读的书取来。我翻开书，重新在枕头上躺下。

早上就这么过去了,而我就在读书。又读二十来页，我伸展了一下身子。我应该试着把我做的那份报告解决掉。我至少应该起床,把衣服洗了去。如果我患了接触性传染病怎么办?我肯定不想传播病菌。衣服可以等会儿再去洗。家人足够有能力找到第二天能穿的衣服。

可能我没有真的感冒。我真的不想生病。坦白地讲，我想要的只是一点时间可以放松一下。我需要保养一下我自己,不去理会他人,家务活,事业还有外面的世界。难道真得等我生病了才能这样吗?儿时,唯一的不用去上学或是做家务的暂缓就是生病了。但是我已经不是小孩子了。难道我得造假装出生病的症状来给自己提供一个借口吗?不，我决定，我不这样做。

我跟自己说。好吧，我说，你需要给自已放一天假。认了吧。接受吧。抛掉负罪感,享受一个小假期吧。你想要做点什么呢?读书?你已经读了。精心护理自己一下?洗个泡泡浴。做个隐士?让机器来接电话。

我将半瓶子护肤凝胶倒入水里,然后又加了一大把甘菊沐浴盐。接下来,我点亮了一盏香草味的蜡烛,小心翼翼地迈进了浴缸。感激地叹了口气,我把自己没入自制的水疗。我听见电话铃声从远处某个地方响起来了,我却笑了。

在浴缸的热水里,头痛慢慢消失了,这真的是很有意思。它们随着流入排水管的最后一个泡泡也跟着消失了。我的头感觉很好,阵痛被安乐幸福所取代。

后来那个下午，我就好了,身体上恢复了精力，精神上和情绪上也感到清爽了很多。我感觉增强了能力，而不是感觉无助了。我给了自己倾听并满足自已需求的机会,像照顾家人一样关心一下自己。我并不需要依靠疾病来为得到休息做辩护。这就是一个简单的意识,但是这不就正是让我们放松自己的最简单的事情吗?