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Cyberlove

Thanks to the late 20th century technology, Maria of Denmark and Martijin of Holland met on a chatline. For months they've talked and sent letters to each other with the help of their computers as they found themselves falling head over heels in love. It was then that they decided to meet in the real, not only the virtual, world. It was not easy to arrange as the young man and his lady were separated by 700 very real kilometers, but the date was a success and Maria and Martijn have been living together happily ever since. They've created a home page to let the world know how they've found happiness via the Internet and introduce couples who've met under similar circumstances.

Throughout history men and women had used a variety of means to find each other. Internet romance, according to some, is a bizarre method, and to others it is a natural way for the 90's to meet potential mates.

Romances formed on the internet follow a characteristic script. The development of emotional intimacy is a long process, sometimes taking several months. "Love at first byte" is rare although there are examples. The initial light exchanges, whether by e-mail or in chat rooms, are generally followed by increasingly self-revealing topics, and then after a while, the two strangers perceive each other as a true friend. Hearts open and an avalanche of e-mail crosses cyberspace carrying literary quality, and electronic messages are even enhanced with verses and virtual gifts (flowers, kisses, animated pictures). Could any heart with romantic inclinations resist? When you reach for the mouse with sweaty palms and butterflies in the stomach to look in the in-box for new mail - there's just no way to escape the fact - love has arrived.

How does a cyber romance vary from a real life romance? Perhaps one significant difference is that communication plays such a large part. Words that convey feelings have enormous effect. While before a real date we fix our hair and our clothes, on the internet we polish our intellect, imagination and personality. In essence, the sequence is reversed - first we show our inner beauty and only after it had won victory does the veil fall off the physical vehicle of that personality at the time of that first meeting in person.

It is a popular topic in cyberspace to debate whether or not true love can develop merely on an intellectual level, without physical attraction or the familiarity of the other's appearance? To put it another way: is the physical appearance of the man or woman play a part in the relationship if, through the exchange of thoughts and feelings, they already fell in love?

Many say it is against the nature of love to be deprived of the sense of sight, the look, the movement, and the body language being present. There are those, of course, who favor Internet relationships claiming that the intensity of the emotional relationship that develops in such a way is superior to the mere stirring of the flesh.

Whatever the opinion may be on cyber love - it must be said in favor of the internet that it puts people in touch with those who they otherwise would never have met. I would never have suspected that the first person I met by e-mail would be a German chimney sweeper, with whom, after a year of correspondence, albeit not romantic, a common interest still exists.

It is silly to perceive the Net as a demon, when we determine how we meet its challenges. While there are those who can use the Net to their advantage extracting useful information, there are those who become addicts losing common sense, hopping from chat room to chat room, writing piles of e-mails full of lies to chosen victims, and whose virtual reality, the flirtations, become part of their everyday lives, as if a disease. One thing is true - the Net is very addictive. According to the confession of a multiple substance addict, it was easier to give up cocaine than the IRC（short for Internet Relay Chat）.

In any case, keep your eyes open off-line as well. Turn off the machine and go to a dance or a club, because most women still expect to be courted in a real, old-fashioned, and romantic way.

参考翻译：

网络爱情

要感谢20 世纪晚期的技术发展，丹麦的玛利亚和荷兰的马迪金在网络聊天室相遇了。几个月以来，在电脑的帮助下，他们聊天，给彼此发信，发现已彻底地爱上了对方。就是在那个时候他们决定在真实的世界里见面，而不只是在虚拟世界里。这可不是一件容易安排的事情，因为这年轻人和他女朋友真实生活中相距 700多公里，但是约会很成功，此后玛利亚和马迪金快乐地生活在一起了。他们通过互联网创建了一个主页，让世界知道他们如何通过网络找到了幸福，并且介绍了情况和他们类似的恋人。

自历史以来男人和女人就使用各种各样的方式来寻找彼此。网恋，据某些人说，是一种很异乎寻常的方式，但对于另外一些人来讲，它是一种很自然的方式让 90 年代的人们遇见潜在的伴侣。

网上的恋情有一定的特点可循。情感上的亲密性的发展是一个长期的过程，有时候需要好几个月的时间。尽管有“一见钟情”的例子，但这毕竟还是比较少见的。不管是通过电子邮件还是聊天室,最初是简单的交流，然后是越来越多的自我表露的话题，过了一段时间之后，两个陌生人把彼此当成了真正的朋友。打开心扉，如雪崩般的带有诗情画意的电子邮件在网络空间里来回穿梭，电子邮件因附有了诗和电子礼物(花束，亲吻，动画图案)而得到了提升。那颗浪漫的心能够拒绝吗？当你把汗津津的手掌放到鼠标上，心里七上八下地看着收件箱里的新邮件的时候——你没有办法逃避一个现实——爱情已经来了。

网络上的恋情和真实生活中的爱情有什么不一样呢？可能一个很大的区别就是交流沟通在发挥着很大的作用。带有情感的文字能产生巨大的影响。然而当在现实生活中的约会之前，我们做头发，穿衣打扮，而在网络上我们修饰自己的智慧，想象力和性格特点。其实顺序是相反的，我们先展示了内在美，只有在内在美赢得胜利之后，第一次见面时，外在的东西才展露出来。

在聊天室有一个很热门的话题，就是讨论真爱是否只能在理智层面上发展，没有生理吸引力或是其他的外表的熟悉。换句话说:如果，通过思想和情感的交流，他们已经坠入爱河，那么，男人或是女人外表特征在两性关系中是否还起作用？

很多人说剥夺了感官上,视觉，动作,和表现出来的肢体语言，违背了爱情的本质。当然，有那么些人更喜欢网恋，他们认为由这种方式发展起来的感情关系的紧张强度远比仅仅有肉欲的关系要优越。

不管对于网恋持什么样的观点，必须得支持互联网，它把根本从未见过的人们聚在一块儿联系起来。我从不怀疑，我通过电子邮件遇到的第一个人竟是一个德国的烟囱清扫工，和他，经过了一年的通信联系，虽然不是特别浪漫，但是我们仍然存有一个共同的兴趣点。

当我们决定我们如何面对网络的挑战时，把它看成恶魔是很愚蠢的。然而有些人能利用网络并从中提取有用信息，而有些人却沉溺于此，失去常理常识，从一个聊天室蹦到另一个聊天室，写一大堆充满谎言的电子邮件，来选择受害者，在他们的虚拟现实里，调情，成为日常生活的一部分，就好像一种疾病。有一点是确信无疑的——网络非常容易使人着迷。根据很多毒品成瘾者的坦白，戒掉可卡因比戒掉网上实时聊天（InternetRelay Chat)的网瘾容易多了。

无论如何，离线时也要睁大眼睛。关掉机器，去参加舞会或俱乐部吧，因为大多数女人仍然希望被追求的方式是真实的、老式的、浪漫的。