作文批改：写信邀请Tom参加周末小聚会(2018.4)

Dear Tom,
I am writing this email to invite you to join Lucy's birthday party. The party will take place at Lucy's. It will begin at 19: 00 on Sunday. You can make some friends on the party, which will enrich your social life. We will have a great dinner together. After dinner we will sing, dance and play games. The party will last for about three hours, from 7: 00 p.m.to 10:00pm
I really hope you can come and join us. Would you like to come I am looking forward to your early reply. I wish you and your family good health and happiness.
Yours Like

评分：21分

作文类型：书信邀请函

1. 内容要点：

- 表达了邀请的意图和具体的活动安排。
- 提及了活动的时间、地点和内容（晚餐、唱歌、跳舞、玩游戏）。
- 表达了对收件人到来的期待。

2. 篇章结构：

- 信件格式较为恰当，但结尾处的“Yours Like”应为“Yours, Like”且署名“Like”似乎有误，应为写信人的名字。
- 文章总体结构较为清晰，开头表明来意，中间描述活动细节，结尾表达期待和祝福。

3. 语言运用：

- 基本语法结构正确，但“make some friends on the party”应改为“make some friends at the party”。
- “Would you like to come I am looking forward to your early reply.”这句话缺少标点，应该为“Would you like to come? I am looking forward to your early reply.”
- 词汇使用基本恰当，但缺乏丰富性。

建议：

1. 注意标点符号的正确使用，尤其是在句子之间使用问号或句号。
2. 确保信件结尾格式正确，核对签名使用的名字。
3. 可以尝试使用更多丰富的词汇和多样的句型，提高语言表达的多样性。

请在我作文的基础上进行修改。字数120左右

sophia168118 发表于 2024-10-23 21:03
请在我作文的基础上进行修改。字数120左右 ...

Dear Tom,

I hope this message finds you well. I am excited to invite you to Lucy's birthday party this weekend. The celebration will be held at Lucy's house, starting at 7:00 p.m. on Sunday and lasting until 10:00 p.m. It's a great opportunity to meet new friends and enjoy some quality social time. We have planned a fantastic dinner, followed by singing, dancing, and a variety of fun games.

I genuinely hope you can join us for this joyous occasion. Please let me know if you can make it; your presence would make the party even more special. Looking forward to your reply. Wishing you and your family good health and happiness.

Yours sincerely,
[Your Name]