作文批改：给Tom写电邮分享暑假参加社区义工活动的事儿

Dear Tom,
I'm writing to tell you that I took part in a volunteer activity this summer vacation. I went to visit the old people who live alone. I brought them some fruits and flowers, talked with them and helped them cook dinner. After dinner, I read newspapers to them. They were so happy.
Working as a volunteer is very meaningful. First of al, it helps me realize my self-worth by helping others. In addition, it makes me happy and teaches me many new things. Last but not least, I also made friends with other volunteers, which enriches my social life
I'm looking forward to meeting you! I wish you and your family good health and happiness .
Yours Like

评分：23分（第二档）

这篇作文完成了试题规定的任务，清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点，并运用了适当的语法结构和词汇，基本满足任务的要求。以下是具体的批改建议：

1. **拼写错误**：
   - 在“First of al”中，“al”应该改为“all”。

2. **细节丰富性**：
   - 建议详细说明义工活动中的具体经验，比如和老人的具体互动故事，或者某些令你印象深刻的时刻，以增加文章的生动性和吸引力。

3. **连接词使用**：
   - 可以使用更多的过渡词来增强段落之间的连贯性。例如，可以在“After dinner, I read newspapers to them.”之前加上“Moreover,”来体现层次感。

4. **结束句**：
   - 结束部分可以更加自然地转入对Tom的问候，建议调整为：“I'm really looking forward to catching up with you soon! Until then, I wish you and your family all the best.”

5. **语法和用词**：
   - 整体上语法和用词较为准确，但可以尝试使用更复杂的句型，例如定语从句或非限制性定语从句，以展示更高水平的语言能力。

以上这些改进可以帮助提高这篇作文的得分，期待看到更丰富多彩的内容和更复杂的语言结构。