my favorite job

It is well known that working is very important in our lives.As a matter of fact,we can
hardly live without work.As for me,my favorite job is being a teacher.Here are the reasons.
First of all,being a teacher gets me to know the world andhelps me with my studies.In addition,being a teacher is very meaningful,for it helps me realize my self-worth.Last but not least,ifI work as a teacher,I can spend more time withmy family and friends.
As a result,as far as I am concermed,my favorite job is being a teacher.

Based on the provided writing, I will evaluate it using the given criteria and suggest improvements.

**Score: 19-24 (Second Tier)**

**Comments:**

1. **Content and Clarity:**
   - The essay clearly expresses all the content points required by the task. It introduces the topic, presents the reasons for liking the job of a teacher, and concludes with a personal opinion.
   
2. **Structure:**
   - The structure is logical and effective, with an introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph serves its purpose well.

3. **Language Use and Accuracy:**
   - The language used satisfies the basic requirements. The ideas are communicated clearly, although there are minor errors that do not impede understanding.
   - Examples of minor errors include:
     - "andhelps" should be "and helps" (spacing error).
     - "ifI" should be "if I" (spacing error).
     - "withmy" should be "with my" (spacing error).
     - "concermed" should be "concerned" (spelling error).

**Suggestions for Improvement:**

1. **Proofreading:**
   - Carefully proofread to catch spacing errors and minor typos, such as "andhelps," "ifI," and "withmy."
   
2. **Expand Content:**
   - To elevate the essay to the first tier, consider expanding on the reasons provided. For instance, give examples or personal anecdotes that illustrate how being a teacher can help you know the world or realize self-worth.

3. **Variety in Language:**
   - Include a wider range of vocabulary and more varied sentence structures to demonstrate advanced language skills. For example, use synonyms or incorporate complex sentences.

4. **Elaboration of Points:**
   - Elaborate on the point about spending more time with family and friends by explaining why this is important or how teaching allows for this balance.

By incorporating these suggestions, the essay could reach a higher tier in the scoring criteria.