Chinese Art Exhibition

Dear Sim
      Hou are you?I am glad to heard that local will hold a chinese art exhibition activity.It is well know that chinese art exhibition is very important in our lives.As a matter of fact,it is good for us in many ways.So I am writing to tell you that I am want to be a volunteer.Here are the reasons.
      As a volunteer is very meaningful,First of all,it helps me realize my self-worth and helps me with my studies.In addition,it makes me happy and teaches me some new things.Last but not least,I hope I can become a best volunteer,because it can help me make friends with other volunteers.
      As a result,I am looking forward to meeting you.I wish you and your family good health and happiness.

This essay can be placed in the third or fourth tier, given the following evaluation:

**Score: 12-13**

**Strengths:**
1. The essay completes a portion of the task by introducing the subject – the desire to volunteer at a Chinese art exhibition.
2. It provides some basic reasons for wanting to be a volunteer and its potential benefits.

**Areas for Improvement:**

1. **Content and Clarity:**
   - The essay lacks clarity and coherence in presenting key points about the Chinese art exhibition itself. It's important to include details such as where and when it will take place.
   - The main topic of the exhibition is mentioned only briefly; more information about what the exhibition includes would help to contextualize the writer's intent to volunteer.

2. **Grammar and Syntax Errors:**
   - "Hou are you?" should be corrected to "How are you?"
   - The phrase "I am glad to heard" should be corrected to "I am glad to hear."
   - "It is well know" should be corrected to "It is well known."
   - "I am want to be a volunteer" should be corrected to "I want to be a volunteer."
   - Missing articles such as "a" in "as a volunteer is very meaningful" after “As” need to be corrected.
   - "Become a best volunteer" should be corrected to "become the best volunteer."

3. **Logical Structure:**
   - Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details. Group similar ideas into cohesive paragraphs.
   - The reasons for volunteering could be more coherently structured. Introduce them clearly and logically support each point with elaboration or examples.

4. **Vocabulary:**
   - The essay uses repetitive phrases like "it makes me happy." Consider using varied expressions to convey enthusiasm or different feelings associated with volunteering.
   - Use connectors or transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

**Recommendations:**
- Revise the introduction to highlight more details about the Chinese art exhibition.
- Develop each reason for volunteering more fully, using examples or reflections to make the essay richer and more compelling.
- Carefully proofread the essay to correct grammar and syntax errors.
- Consider revising the closing paragraph to better summarize the intent and perhaps include a call to action or restate the enthusiasm.

Improving these aspects will enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of the essay, moving it to a higher tier.