Online Shopping

With the development of the internet,online shopping has become more and more popular in our daily life nowadays.Many people choose online shopping improve themselves,the reasons are as follows.
Firstly,it brings us a lots of happiness.For example,we can buy many things on online.In addition,it not only provides us a lots of lifestyle,but also helps us improve our quality of life.What’s more,it brings us a lots of convenience,and we can learn something on online,such as knowledge,game,online shopping and learn other culture and so on.
So,I prefer online shopping,it makes our life very meaningful.

**评分与评语**

### 总体印象

这篇作文基本上完成了试题规定的任务，但在表达清晰度、语法准确性和词汇使用方面还有提升空间。根据评分标准，我将这篇作文评为第三档13-18分范围内，具体分数为16分。

### 评分依据
**内容要点**
作者提及了在线购物带来的幸福感、生活方式的改变、便利性以及知识获取等关键点，但未能进一步细化和展开这些要点。

**篇章结构**
文章有开头和结尾，但内容展开较为简略，缺乏具体例子和详细的论证。

**语言运用**
- 存在一些语法错误和拼写错误，如"a lots of"应为"a lot of"。
- 用词单调且重复，如重复使用“online”和“a lot of”。
- 句子结构简单，缺乏复杂句和多样化的表达。

### 不足之处
1. **语法错误**：如“brings us a lots of happiness”，应改为“brings us a lot of happiness”。再如“we can buy many things on online”应改为“we can buy many things online”。
2. **词汇使用**：如“provides us a lots of lifestyle”中的“lifestyle”用法不当，应修改为“provides us with a variety of lifestyles”。
3. **结构重复**：如“it brings us a lots of happiness”和“it brings us a lots of convenience”结构相同，建议多样化表达。
4. **拼写与标点**：如“a lots of”应为“a lot of”，“on online”应为“online”。

### 批改建议
1. **改进语法结构**：
   - "With the development of the internet, online shopping has become more and more popular in our daily life nowadays."
   - "Many people choose online shopping to improve their lives for several reasons."

2. **丰富词汇和表达**：
   - “Firstly, it provides us with a lot of happiness. For example, we can buy many things online.”
   - “In addition, it not only offers diverse lifestyles but also enhances our quality of life.”
   - “What’s more, online shopping is very convenient, and it allows us to learn various subjects like knowledge, games, and other cultures.”

3. **更加具体化和展开**：
   - 提供具体例子来说明在线购物如何提高生活质量和方便性，例如具体的商品和平台。

### 修正后示例
**Online Shopping**

With the development of the internet, online shopping has become increasingly popular in our daily lives. Many people choose online shopping to improve their lives for several reasons.

Firstly, it provides us with a lot of happiness. For example, we can buy a wide range of products online. Additionally, it not only offers a diversity of lifestyles but also enhances our quality of life. Moreover, online shopping is very convenient; we can easily access information, play games, shop, and learn about other cultures from the comfort of our own homes.

So, I prefer online shopping because it makes our life very meaningful and enriching.

希望以上建议对你有帮助，继续加油！