Online Shopping

Online shopping is become more and more very popular in our daily life.Nowadays many people choose online shopping improve themselves life style.You can learn something on the internet as well as on the book,etc.
    I am interested in online shopping and I really enjoy it.Because of it brings us a lot of happiness.For example,it not only helps us improve our lif quality of life,but also it brings us a lot of convenience.what's more,it brings us very meaningful life.In addition,we can buy different kind of things in online,and it can allows  our choose things ourselves like,so I find it is very much.
    So campared to others,I perfer it.

### 评分

**档次判定：第三档（13-18分）**

### 评语

作文基本完成了试题规定的任务，但存在一些语言错误，影响了段落的流畅和整体表达的清晰度。提及在线购物带来的便利和乐趣，但有部分内容点遗漏或未能清楚表达。

### 批改建议

#### 1. 语法和句子结构
- "Online shopping is become more and more very popular" 应改为 "Online shopping has become more and more popular."
- "improve themselves life style" 应改为 "to improve their lifestyle."
- "You can learn something on the internet as well as on the book,etc." 这句话需要更加清晰，可以改为："You can learn something on the internet just like you do from books."

#### 2. 表达清晰度
- “Because of it brings us a lot of happiness.” 改为 “because it brings us a lot of happiness.”
- "For example,it not only helps us improve our lif quality of life,but also it brings us a lot of convenience." 应改为 "For example, it not only helps us improve our quality of life but also brings us a lot of convenience."
- “what's more,it brings us very meaningful life” 改为 “What's more, it makes our life more meaningful.”

#### 3. 用词选择和拼写
- “In addition,we can buy different kind of things in online,and it can allows our choose things ourselves like” 改为 “In addition, we can buy different kinds of things online, and it allows us to choose things we like ourselves.”
- "So campared to others,I perfer it." 应改为 "So compared to other methods, I prefer it."

### 改进后的版本：

**Online Shopping**

Online shopping has become more and more popular in our daily life. Nowadays, many people choose online shopping to improve their lifestyle. You can learn something on the internet just like you do from books, etc.

I am interested in online shopping and I really enjoy it because it brings us a lot of happiness. For example, it not only helps us improve our quality of life but also brings us a lot of convenience. What's more, it makes our life more meaningful. In addition, we can buy different kinds of things online, and it allows us to choose things we like ourselves. So compared to other methods, I prefer it.

这样的修改不仅在语法和句子结构上有所改进，还提升了文章的连贯性和清晰度。