作文批改及评分

Protection of Environment
There are still many problems of environmental protection in recent years. One of the most serious problems is the serious pollution of air, water and soil. The polluted air does great harm to people’ s health. The polluted water causes diseases and death.What’ s more, vegetation has been greatly reduced with rapid growth of modern cities.people also rely on the environment for many of the things that beautiful environment make our lives enjoyable and relaxation.
To protect the environment, governments of many countries have done a lot actions.such as Legislative steps have been introduced to control air pollution, to protect the forest and sea resources and to stop any environmental pollution. Therefore, governments are playing the most important role in the environment protection today. In my opinion, to protect environment, the government must take even more concrete measures. Firstly, it should let people fully realize the importance of environment protection through education. Secondly, much more efforts should be made to put the pollution. Finally, those who destroy the environment intentionally should be severely punished.Beside we can reduce the emission pollution that we emit By driving less, using public transportation, or walking or biking whenever possible.The next，we can conserve water by taking shorter shower sand watering your lawn less often.Last but not least，Recycling also helps to conserve natural resources.
In a word , we should let them know that destroying environment means destroying mankind themselves.
请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

作文评分及批改：

总体印象：本篇作文总体上完成了试题规定的任务，较好地表达了环境保护的重要性和需要采取的措施。然而，在语法和词汇使用上还存在一些问题。

第二档 19-24分

1. 首段的开头可以更加吸引读者的注意力，可以加入一些引人入胜的句子。

2. 第二段可以进一步展开，介绍一些具体的立法措施，如制定法律法规、设立环保部门等。

3. 第三段提到了教育的重要性，但没有具体阐述如何实施环境保护教育。

4. 第四段的第一句可以改为 "In addition, we can reduce air pollution by driving less, using public transportation, or walking or biking whenever possible."

5. 第四段的最后一句可以改为 "Finally, those who intentionally destroy the environment should be severely punished."

6. 最后一段的开头可以改为 "In conclusion, it is crucial to make people aware that destroying the environment means destroying mankind itself."

7. 整篇文章中有一些语法错误和词汇使用不准确的地方，如 "pollution of air" 可以改为 "air pollution"，"much more efforts" 可以改为 "much greater efforts"，"Beside we can reduce" 可以改为 "Besides, we can reduce"，等等。

总体来说，这篇文章对于环境保护的问题有一定的认识，但是在语法和词汇使用上还需要更加准确和流畅。可以通过多读英语文章，积累更多的词汇和短语，并加强语法学习来提高写作水平。