模拟测试作文

作文内容：
请完成一篇字数120词左右的短文

51 你业余时间的娱乐活动有哪些

描述其中一项活动

Recently, more and more people are talking about what can we do activitieson our spend time. From my perspective, it is without a doubt that I have the varietyof activities on my spend time, such as persisting exercise and listening tomusic to watching movies and travelling. As for me, I enjoy persisting exerciseon my spend time, and I can do it every day . The reasons why I believe so arelisted below .

   To begin with, exercise can help me maintaingood health. Because it is one of the most active and effective ways to enhancephysical well-being. What is more , it is easier for me to understand thatengaging in exercising activities can reduce stress, make depression more bearableand help me relax. Furthermore, participating in exercise activities can makeit easier for me to make friends who share similar interests. It is enjoyableto contact with others through the joy of exercise.

   Inconclusion, I enjoy exercise every day. It brings me numerous benefits to mylife .

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评分及意见：

根据评分标准，对于这篇作文，我会给予第三档13-18分的评分。

评分原因如下：
1. 内容要点：文章描述了个人业余时间的娱乐活动，包括坚持锻炼、听音乐、看电影和旅行。并且给出了喜欢坚持锻炼的原因，如维持健康、减压和结交朋友等。
2. 篇章结构：文章有明确的开头、主体和结尾。开头引出话题，主体部分详细阐述了个人喜欢锻炼的原因，并提到了其他娱乐活动的选择。结尾总结了锻炼对生活的益处。
3. 语言运用：文章中有较多的语言错误，如句子和词汇的错误，这些错误虽然基本不影响理解，但也影响了整体的语言准确性和流畅性。

改进建议：
1. 语法和词汇：需要更加注意语法准确性和拼写正确性。可以通过多读书、多积累并复习语法和词汇知识来提高。
2. 表达和连贯性：需要更好地组织句子和段落，使文章的逻辑关系更清晰，段落之间的连接更流畅。

总结：
这篇作文在内容要点和篇章结构方面都基本满足要求，但语言运用方面还需要进一步提高。通过加强语法、词汇的学习，以及多练习写作，可以帮助提高表达能力和语言准确性。

请根据我的作文，逐一进行举例并修改。修改之后，作文的评分标准为第一档

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-22 13:08
请根据我的作文，逐一进行举例并修改。修改之后，作文 ...

Recently, more and more people are discussing leisure activities to spend their free time. From my perspective, I have a variety of activities that I enjoy during my leisure time, such as exercising regularly, listening to music, watching movies, and traveling. Among these activities, I particularly enjoy regular exercise. I try to engage in it every day. There are several reasons why I believe so, as discussed below.

Firstly, exercise helps me maintain good health as it is one of the most active and effective ways to enhance physical well-being. Moreover, it is widely known that engaging in exercise activities can reduce stress, alleviate depression, and help me relax. Additionally, participating in exercise activities allows me to meet and connect with others who share similar interests. It is enjoyable to interact with them through the joy of exercise.

In conclusion, I enjoy exercising on a daily basis as it brings numerous benefits to my life. It not only helps me stay physically fit but also contributes to my mental well-being. By making exercise a part of my leisure activities, I am able to find a sense of balance and fulfillment in my life.

修改意见：
1. 增加了段落开头句，清晰地表明了文章的主题。
2. 对于每个观点进行了详细阐述，使得内容更加充实和具体。
3. 对于语法和词汇错误进行了修正和改进。
4. 调整了句子结构和顺序，使得文章的逻辑关系更加清晰和连贯。

要求字数120左右，你提供修正的文章有190字了，请缩减至120左右，并达到评分标准第一档。

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-23 20:13
要求字数120左右，你提供修正的文章有190字了，请缩减 ...

Recently, more and more people are discussing activities to spend their leisure time. From my perspective, I have a variety of hobbies, such as exercising, listening to music, watching movies, and traveling. Among them, I particularly enjoy exercising in my free time, which I can do every day. There are several reasons why I believe so. Firstly, regular exercise helps me maintain good health and enhance my physical well-being. Secondly, engaging in exercise activities helps me reduce stress, cope with depression, and relax. Lastly, exercising also allows me to meet new people who share similar interests, making it enjoyable to connect with others. In conclusion, exercising is my preferred leisure activity as it brings numerous benefits to my life. (120 words)

      Recently, more and more people are discussing activities to spend their leisure time. From my perspective, I have a variety of hobbies, such as exercising, listening to music, watching movies, and traveling. Among them, I particularly enjoy exercising in my free time, which I can do every day. There are several reasons why I believe so.
      Firstly, regular exercise helps me maintain good health and enhance my physical well-being.Secondly, engaging in exercise activities helps me reduce stress, cope with depression, and relax.Lastly, exercising also allows me to meet new people who share similar interests, making it enjoyable to connect with others.
      In conclusion, exercising is my preferred leisure activity as it brings numerous benefits to my life.

评分标准为第几档

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-23 20:15
Recently, more and more people are discussing acti ...

评分标准为第一档。

理由是什么

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-23 20:16
理由是什么

以下是给予作文第一档评分的理由：

1. 完成了试题规定的任务：文章清晰地介绍了个人业余时间的娱乐活动，并且详细描述了喜欢坚持锻炼的原因。

2. 清晰地表达了全部内容要点：作文明确提到了坚持锻炼对保持身体健康和增强体质的好处，以及通过参与锻炼活动来缓解压力、应对抑郁和放松心情的好处。

3. 语言运用较为准确、恰当：文章语句通顺，表达清晰，使用了一些较高级的词汇和句型，展示了一定的语言能力。

综上所述，根据作文的完成度、表达清晰度和语言运用准确性等方面的优秀表现，给予作文第一档评分。