批改

作文内容：

In a rapidly developing society,people generally accepted that trips play an extremely important role.When it comes to trips    everyone has his or her own ideas.Some people like Beijing,while others are interested in Shanghai,From my point of view,I fancy Hangzhou most.There are mainly three reasons for my view.Firstly, Hangzhou is a beautiful city and so clean. I can see a lot of nice scenery.Secondly, there are lots of delicious food, I can have various kinds of food.Finally,Hangzhou is a traditional city that preserve and carry forward traditional Chinese culture .To sum up.I like Hangzhou very much.Going to trip is a good thing.I will benefit a lot from it. I hope that more people enjoy Hangzhou.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评分：第三档 13-18分

总体印象：
这篇作文主题明确，内容基本完整，但语言表达方面存在一些问题。虽然有一些语法错误和词汇不够准确，但不影响整体理解。

不足之处：
1. 在第一段中，“When it comes to trips”后应该加上逗号；
2. 在第一段中，“there are mainly three reasons for my view”应改为“there are three main reasons for my view”；
3. 在第二段中，“I can see a lot of nice scenery”应改为“I can see a lot of beautiful scenery”；
4. 在第二段中，“there are lots of delicious food”应改为“there is a lot of delicious food”；
5. 在第三段中，句子结构比较简单，可以尝试使用一些复杂的句子结构来丰富文章；
6. 书写较差，造成部分字母无法辨认。

改进建议：
1. 注意标点符号的使用，使句子更加清晰；
2. 尽量使用准确的词汇，避免重复使用相同的词语；
3. 练习使用一些复杂的句子结构，提高语言表达的丰富性；
4. 提高书写质量，确保字母清晰可辨。

总结：
这篇作文在表达观点和论述理由方面做得不错，但在语法和词汇的准确性上还需要一些改进。希望下次作文能够进一步提高。

王艳 发表于 2023-10-21 16:41
评分：第三档 13-18分

总体印象：

需要修改后的作文

BinBin 发表于 2023-10-21 16:49
需要修改后的作文

In a rapidly developing society, it is generally accepted that trips play an extremely important role. When it comes to trips, everyone has his or her own ideas. Some people like Beijing, while others are interested in Shanghai. From my point of view, I fancy Hangzhou the most. There are mainly three reasons for my view.

Firstly, Hangzhou is a beautiful and clean city where I can see a lot of breathtaking scenery. The West Lake is famous for its enchanting views, surrounded by lush greenery and peaceful atmosphere. Additionally, the Xixi Wetland is a natural treasure with its picturesque landscape and diverse wildlife. These places offer a wonderful escape from the hustle and bustle of urban life.

Secondly, Hangzhou is a paradise for food lovers like me. There are countless local delicacies that cater to various tastes and preferences. From the mouthwatering "Dongpo Pork" to the fragrant and delicate "Longjing Tea", Hangzhou's cuisine is a delightful blend of flavors and aromas. Exploring the street food stalls and traditional restaurants is a true gastronomic adventure.

Finally, Hangzhou is a city that proudly preserves and carries forward traditional Chinese culture. The temples, pagodas, and historical landmarks are not just architectural marvels, but also symbols of the city's rich heritage. The Lingyin Temple, Six Harmonies Pagoda, and Grand Canal are all testament to Hangzhou's profound historical significance. Immersing myself in this cultural ambiance allows me to appreciate and learn more about China's traditional values and customs.

To sum up, I like Hangzhou very much because of its breathtaking scenery, delicious food, and rich cultural heritage. Going on a trip to Hangzhou is truly a rewarding experience. I hope that more people will have the opportunity to enjoy the beauty and charm of Hangzhou.

(Word count: 248)