作文批改

My favourite job
Everyone has their own job, I am too. When I was a little boy, my mum asked me what I wanted to be?I said I want to be a teacher. Now, I already working and I am a teacher. I hove teacher's work. I can look at children and help them study every day. That makes me very happy. I love children, I treat them as members of my family. Of course, children love me too that it makes me feel happiness. Sometimes, It is very tiring for me to work hard, but I can get more experience. So, I believe I am a good teacher.


请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

My favourite job
Everyone has their own job, and I am no exception. When I was a little boy, my mum asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I said I want to be a teacher. Now, I am already working as a teacher and I love my job. I get to interact with children and help them with their studies every day, which brings me a lot of happiness. I treat the children as members of my own family and they also love me, which makes me feel even happier. Although it can be tiring at times, I believe that hard work brings more experience and makes me a better teacher.

评分： 第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

- 这篇文章基本完成了题目要求，表达了作者想要传达的内容。
- 文章结构相对清晰，首段引出话题，正文展开论述，末段总结观点。
- 语言运用较为准确，但有些句子和词汇的使用需要改进，比如"hove"应为"love"，"It is very tiring for me to work hard"可以改为"It can be tiring for me to work hard"。
- 遗漏了一些关键内容要点，比如没有具体说明为什么喜欢教师这个职业。
- 存在一些语法错误和句子结构不够流畅的问题，需要进行修改和改进。