作文评分并修改

Dear Tom,

This is Li Ke from Beijing. The reason that l am writing to you is because I want to thank for you tutored me in my

spoken English.

Besides of that, here goes another thing that I think is important, which is that I made such rapid progress that I won the first place in the city’s English speaking contest with your help.Thank you very much.

Lastly, I believe you should know this at the very end of my letter, and that I am very glad to hear this news that you and your wife will pay a visit to my school.

I appreciate your time for reading my letter and I am looking forward to your reply. I hope everything goes well with your life.

Best regards

Li Ke

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

Dear Tom,

This is Li Ke from Beijing. I am writing to thank you for tutoring me in my spoken English. With your help, I made such rapid progress that I won first place in the city's English speaking contest. Thank you very much.

Lastly, I wanted to let you know that I am very glad to hear the news that you and your wife will be visiting my school. I appreciate your time for reading my letter and I am looking forward to your reply. I hope everything goes well in your life.

Best regards,
Li Ke

评分：第二档 19-24分

修改意见：

1. 在开头部分，应该使用“I want to thank you for tutoring me”而不是“l am writing to you is because I want to thank for you tutored me”。同时，可以适当拓展感谢的理由，如提到具体的方面或者对你学习进步的影响。

2. 在第二段中，可以详细描述一下你在比赛中取得的进步和荣誉。例如，你可以提到获奖证书、奖杯等具体奖项。

3. 在信件的结尾处，表达对他们来访的欢迎之情，并且表达期待再次见面的愿望。

4. 缺少一些连接词和过渡词来使文章更流畅。

5. 注意句子的语法和标点使用，以确保准确性和清晰度。

修改后的作文如下：

Dear Tom,

I want to express my sincere gratitude to you for tutoring me in my spoken English. Thanks to your guidance and support, I have made significant progress in my language skills. It is with great pleasure that I inform you that I recently won first place in the city's English speaking contest. This achievement would not have been possible without your help.

I wanted to share this wonderful news with you and also let you know that I am thrilled to hear about your upcoming visit to my school. It will be an honor to have you and your wife as our guests. I look forward to the opportunity to meet you in person and express my gratitude face to face.

Thank you once again for everything you have done for me. I truly appreciate your time and effort. I hope everything goes well in your life.

Best regards,
Li Ke