作文批改

Means of transportation

There are many kinds of means of transportation. Everyone has their own means of transportation. When asked what is my favourite means of transportation, my answer is cycle.

Why? I have many reasons for, I just take three reasons. First of all, cycling can exercise my body, it can make my body more healthy and stronger. Secondly, cycles don't cause pollution, cycling can protect the environment and reduce pollution. Last not least, abike is much cheaper than a car. Buy a bike just costs a little money.

All in all, I feel the cycle is best suitable for me. So, my favourite means of transportation is cycling.


请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评分：第二档 19-24分

评语：
该作文基本完成了试题规定的任务，清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点。文章结构清晰，包含了对自行车作为交通工具的三个理由。语法和词汇使用基本正确，虽有一些错误但不影响理解。划线部分的错误已修改。

建议改进：
1. 在文章中加入更多的细节和例子来支持你的理由，这样会使文章更有说服力。
2. 注意一致使用单数形式或复数形式。例如，"cycles"应改为"cycles don't"。
3. 在最后一句话中，将"abike"改为"a bike"。
4. 修改开头的句子，使其更加流畅和连贯。

修改后的作文：
Means of Transportation

There are many kinds of means of transportation. Everyone has their own means of transportation. When asked what my favourite means of transportation is, my answer is cycling.

Why? I have many reasons, but I will just mention three. First of all, cycling can exercise my body and make it healthier and stronger. Secondly, cycling doesn't cause pollution, which helps protect the environment and reduce pollution. Last but not least, a bike is much cheaper than a car. Buying a bike only costs a little money.

All in all, I feel that cycling is best suited for me. So, my favourite means of transportation is cycling.