作文批改

作文内容：
An Unforgettable Festival
There are many festival in China,such as Spring Festival,Mid-autumn Festival,National Day and so on.Ench festival has its own uniqueness.For me,I like Spring Festival best.

First of all,Spring Festival is the most improtant festival in China.It represents the beginning of New Year.With the advent spring,everything come to life again.

In addition,Spring Festival is a day of family reunion.We have big dinner,eat dumplings and stay up late for good luck.

What's more,I can wear new clothes and received a lot of lucky mony.

All in all,I love Spring Festival! It made me feel happy,lively and warm.



请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足，给出修改后文章

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

作为老师，我会给这篇作文打第三档，即13-18分。

评分理由如下：
1. 内容要点：作文涵盖了春节是中国最重要的节日、代表着新年的开始、家人团聚、吃饺子、熬夜等关键要点。
2. 篇章结构：作文有明确的引言、主体和结尾，并且每个部分都有合理的连接词和过渡句，使作文流畅。
3. 语言运用：词汇使用基本准确。语法结构基本正确，虽然存在一些错误，但不影响整体理解。

需要修改的地方：
1. 语法错误：文章中存在一些语法错误，例如"ench"应该是"each"，"mon"应该是"money"。
2. 多样化的句式：文章中使用的句式比较简单，可以尝试使用一些复杂句式或者句型变换来丰富文章的表达方式。
3. 表达细节：文章内容比较简单，可以加入一些具体的细节来支持和补充观点，例如春节期间的传统活动、节日氛围等。

修改后的文章：
An Unforgettable Festival
There are many festivals in China, such as Spring Festival, Mid-autumn Festival, National Day and so on. Each festival has its own uniqueness. For me, I like Spring Festival the best.

First of all, Spring Festival is the most important festival in China. It represents the beginning of the New Year. With the advent of spring, everything comes to life again. During Spring Festival, people decorate their houses with red lanterns and couplets, which symbolizes good luck and prosperity.

In addition, Spring Festival is a day of family reunion. We have a big dinner, eat dumplings, and stay up late for good luck. The whole family gathers together to enjoy the festive atmosphere. People also visit relatives and friends, exchange gifts and blessings, which strengthens the bond between people.

What's more, during Spring Festival, I can wear new clothes and receive a lot of lucky money from my relatives and elders. It is always exciting to dress up in new clothes and receive blessings and good wishes.

All in all, I love Spring Festival! It makes me feel happy, lively, and warm. It is a time for family, traditions, and celebration. The festival brings people closer together and creates beautiful memories that will last a lifetime.