作文批改及评分

Recently, more and more people are talking about favorite jobs. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that teacher is the most rewarding job in this world. The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.
   The first point that I want to mention is that teacher can give students a better future, and that is because teacher can pass knowledge to students so that they can have a better job in future. What is more, it's easier for us to understand that teacher is a job that can give you confidence, which is because most people respect teacher and students admire their teacher.
    From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that teacher is the most rewarding job in this world. After all, teacher can gie students a better future and is a job that can give you confidence.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

        •        清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
        •        运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
        •        语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

        •        清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
        •        运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
        •        语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

        •        提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
        •        运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
        •        存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

        •        遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
        •        语法结构和词汇单调。
        •        语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

        •        明显遗漏内容要点
        •        语法结构和词汇极单调
        •        语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

作文批改及评分:

根据作文的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用，我会给这篇作文一个评分。在评分时，请注意以下几点:

1. 作文结构: 这篇作文的结构基本上是符合逻辑的。开头段落明确表达了作者对教师职业的看法，而主体段落则围绕着教师给学生带来更好未来和自信心的观点展开。最后段落呼应了开头段落的观点，并做出了结论。这种结构使得整个作文有一定的连贯性和逻辑性。

2. 内容要点: 作者提到了教师能够传递知识，让学生拥有更好的工作机会，以及教师的地位和学生对教师的尊敬等要点。这些要点较为全面，合理支持了作者认为教师是世界上最有回报的职业这一观点。

3. 语言运用: 在语言运用方面，这篇作文存在一些问题。首先，文章中使用了一些模糊或不准确的表达，例如“totally undoubted”、“pass knowledge to students”等。其次，句子结构有时不够流畅，需要进行修正。此外，作文中也存在一些拼写和标点符号错误，需要进行修正。

综上所述，根据评分标准，我会给这篇作文打出以下分数:

内容要点和结构：第三档 13-18分
语言运用：第四档 7-12分

你的总分将取决于具体的得分细则和你实际作文中存在的错误数量。请在下次写作时注意改进语言表达和准确性。希望对你有所帮助！

修改后的作文

王红莉 发表于 2023-10-11 21:58
修改后的作文

Recently, there has been increasing discussion about favorite jobs. From my perspective, being a teacher is undoubtedly the most rewarding job in the world. I believe this for several reasons.

Firstly, teachers have the power to shape students' future by imparting knowledge and skills to them. This education equips students with the necessary tools to secure better job opportunities in the future. By nurturing young minds, teachers contribute to the development and success of their students.

Secondly, being a teacher instills confidence. Teachers are respected by society, and students often hold their teachers in high regard. This admiration creates a positive environment where students feel motivated to learn and grow. As a result, teachers enjoy a sense of fulfillment and confidence in their ability to positively impact the lives of their students.

In conclusion, it is evident that being a teacher is the most rewarding profession. Teachers have the ability to shape the future of their students and enjoy the respect of society. Their role not only provides students with a better future but also instills confidence in both themselves and their students.

(Note: I made some revisions to improve the clarity and flow of the essay. I focused on enhancing the language use and corrected grammatical errors. However, please note that without the original essay's specific errors, it is difficult to provide an accurate assessment of the score.)