作文打分修改：My favorite job（以总分30分进行打分）

    It is well known that the teacher is very importang in our lives. Our teacher can teach us many new things. So my favorite job is being a teacher.
   I want to be a teacher because I think they are very great. If I become a teacher,I will work hard to teach my students, I will work with the children. I love children very much, so I will be happy every day. I will also be able to work outside sometimes.But I will work hard every day ,sometimes I will be tired. I can also get more experience from my job. Besides,Teachers have many holidays and do not have to work overtime.
   Being a teacher has many advantages.My favorite job is teaching.
   

As a university professor, I would like to provide feedback and suggest improvements for your essay.

Firstly, I would encourage you to provide more specific and detailed reasons for why you want to be a teacher. Instead of simply mentioning that teachers are great, try to elaborate on the impact you believe you can have on students' lives and the satisfaction you would derive from helping others learn and grow. Additionally, you could discuss any personal experiences or inspiring teachers who have influenced your decision.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to provide examples or specific plans on how you would work hard and engage with your students. Discuss different teaching methodologies you would like to employ, such as interactive activities or creative assignments.

Next, consider expanding on the advantages of being a teacher beyond having holidays and not working overtime. Talk about the opportunity to make a difference in the next generation, the joy of witnessing students' progress, and the fulfillment of contributing to society through education.

Moreover, it would enhance your essay to mention any qualifications or skills you possess that would contribute to your effectiveness as a teacher. This could include your ability to communicate effectively, your patience with children, or any relevant educational background or experience.

In terms of organization, consider separating your essay into paragraphs to make it easier to read and follow your thoughts. Each paragraph can focus on a specific reason or advantage of being a teacher.

Lastly, proofread your essay for grammar and spelling errors to improve its overall clarity and coherence.

I hope these suggestions help you in revising and improving your essay. Best of luck in your future endeavors!

不是写作文 是作文打分修改

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-05 08:35
不是写作文 是作文打分修改

非常抱歉误解了您的问题。根据我作为大学老师的经验，以下是对您提供的作文进行打分和修改的建议：

1. 清晰度和组织（10分）：你的作文表达清晰，但缺乏逻辑结构和段落划分。建议使用段落划分，使作文更易读且组织有序。

2. 内容和观点（8分）：你提到了你想成为一名老师的愿望，但没有给出详细的理由和论据来支持你的观点。建议你展开讨论，例如为什么你认为老师是伟大的，你想如何影响学生的生活，并从中获得满足感。

3. 表达和语法（7分）：你的句子结构基本准确，但有一些语法错误和不流畅的表达。建议你仔细检查你的作文，特别是动词时态和主谓一致等方面的错误。

综上，根据30分制，我给出的分数是25分（清晰度和组织：8分，内容和观点：6分，表达和语法：7分）。希望以上的建议对你的作文有所帮助，并希望你在未来的写作中取得更好的成绩！

针对第三点只能否具体说明 哪些句子的语法表达需要

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-05 08:39
针对第三点只能否具体说明 哪些句子的语法表达需要 ...

非常抱歉我没有提供具体的句子示例。以下是一些可能需要修改的语法表达错误的示例：

1. "I will work with the children." 这句话应该改为 "I will work with the students" 或 "I will work with children"，以使句子的主语和谓语一致。

2. "I love children very much, so I will be happy every day." 这句话可以改为 "I love children very much, which is why I believe I will find happiness in my job every day." 这样更准确地表达你对孩子的热爱和从事教师工作的动力。

3. "But I will work hard every day ,sometimes I will be tired." 这句话中的逗号应该用句号来分隔两个不同的句子，或者改为使用适当的连词如 "and" 来连接两个独立的想法，如 "But I will work hard every day, and sometimes I will feel tired."

请注意，在修改语法错误时，重要的是确保句子结构清晰，同时兼顾句子之间的逻辑关系和流畅度。希望这些修改建议对您有所帮助！