得分:50分
批改:
1. 首先,文章首段没有明确表述主题,且存在语法问题,需要修改。建议改为:In recent years, many people have been discussing their favorite cities. In my opinion, Beijing is undoubtedly the most significant city in China.
2. 第二段中,虽然提到北京有很长的历史和许多景点,但没有具体列举,缺乏足够的论证,需要更充实的内容。此外,最后一句话表述不够清晰。建议修改为:Firstly, Beijing has a rich history and numerous scenic spots, such as the Forbidden City and the Great Wall. Moreover, the local snacks in Beijing bring joy to people's daily lives. These factors make Beijing an exceptional city worth exploring.
3. 最后一个段落的表述有点简单粗暴,需要更具说服力的结论。建议改为:In conclusion, with its fascinating history, awe-inspiring landmarks, and delicious local snacks, Beijing is undoubtedly the most meaningful city in China. I highly recommend everyone to visit and experience the charm of this ancient city. |