作文批改评分

题目：某英语学习报征集一篇题为“My  Dream  Trip”的稿件。请就此题目写一篇英文 短文应征，内容包括： • 你最想去哪里旅游
• 为什么你最想去那里
正文：

               My Dream Trip

Recently，more and more people are talking about dream trip.From my opinion the dream trip is visit to Hangzhou which is in the north of china.Hangzhou is a tourist city,where has a lot of famous building such as XiHu lake.

When i was a child,my Mather told me a sorry

about XiHu,the story was always in my memory

I never forget it,now I am grow up and I want

to see it with my Mather.

There are also many local food in Hangzhou,such as soybean milk of LongJin,it is very delicious and the taste is attractive.

All in all,I will go there with my Mather at next holiday.

建议修改及评分：

My Dream Trip

Recently, more and more people have been talking about their dream trips. From my perspective, my dream trip would be to visit Hangzhou, a beautiful city located in the north of China. There are numerous reasons why I am so eager to go there.

First of all, Hangzhou is known for its picturesque scenery, especially the famous West Lake (XiHu) which is renowned for its tranquil waters, surrounded by traditional Chinese gardens, tea plantations and historical buildings. When I was a child, my mother used to tell me stories about XiHu's legendary beauty and its cultural significance. Those stories left a lasting impression on me, and now that I'm grown up, I want to experience it firsthand along with my mother.

Secondly, Hangzhou is also home to some of the most renowned local dishes such as LongJin soybean milk. The fragrance of this soybean milk is irresistible, and its taste is unforgettable. I am eager to try more local delicacies and discover new flavors that I have never tasted before.

Overall, my dream trip to Hangzhou will be a meaningful journey. I look forward to creating beautiful memories with my mother and exploring the city's rich culture and beautiful scenery.

修改建议：

1. 更正一些语法错误和使用不规范的单词
2. 加入更多具体的细节，增强文章的表现力和吸引力
3. 改善段落结构，让文章更加流畅和易读

评分： 6/10
虽然文章表达了作者想去杭州旅游的愿望和理由，但是语言表达方面存在一些问题。有些句子用词不当或不规范，有些地方也需要加入更多的信息和细节，以增强文章的表达力。此外，段落结构上也可以进行改善，让文章更加易读。