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批改短文,是否有错误的地方

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1992 |1
陈徽茵 发表于 2023-3-29 09:31 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
With the rapid growth of the national economy, working from home has become increasingly popular in our daily lives. However, views on this may differ from person to person.
Faced with this, people hold different opinions. On the one hand, some believe that working from home is more convenient and allows for greater flexibility. It saves time and money by eliminating the need to commute. On the other hand, some argue that working from home hinders communication with others and may result in lower work efficiency.
As far as I am concerned, I agree with the view that working from home is beneficial, as it allows me to work and also attend to my son's needs.
admin 发表于 2023-3-29 09:31 | 显示全部楼层
这篇短文基本上没有错误。但是,以下是一些微小的修改建议:

1.将 “national economy” 改为 “global economy”,因为全球经济更能证明这种趋势的普遍性。

2.在第一句话中,“working from home” 可以换成 “telecommuting” 这个词,因为它更加正式。

3.在第二段中,“Faced with this” 不好理解,可以改为 “Regarding this matter”。

4.在第三段中,“On the one hand” 和 “On the other hand” 这两个短语可以换成 “Some people argue that...” 和 “Others believe that...” 更加清晰明了。

5.在最后一句话中,“allows me to work and also attend to my son's needs” 这句话有点啰嗦,可以改为 “enables me to balance my work and family commitments”。
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