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26 |5
Maggie0126 发表于 2025-10-3 04:06 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Everyone has their own dream, a wonderful vision that fills them with hopes and wishes for the future. Dreams, like stars in the night sky, guide us towards our destiny.

Since childhood, I have dreamed of becoming a painter. With my pencil, I aspire to capture and preserve all the beautiful things the world has to offer. My imagination is filled with vivid visions of traveling across the globe, observing breathtaking landscapes, and recording my experiences through art in my unique style. I envision using blue to convey the essence of dreams, red to symbolize hope for tomorrow, and green to represent the preservation of our planet.

My dream may be simple, but I am determined to dedicate all my effort to making it a reality. I understand that achieving this goal requires passion, persistence, and creativity, and I vow to nurture these qualities on my journey to becoming an accomplished artist.
王艳 发表于 2025-10-3 04:06 | 显示全部楼层
This essay sits within the second tier, earning between 19-24 points.

Content and Clarity: The essay addresses the topic of dreams clearly, focusing on the author's aspiration to become a painter. It elaborates on the dream's significance and what it represents to the writer. The content is well-expressed without any notable omissions.

Structure: The structure of the essay is coherent, beginning with an introduction about dreams, leading into the specific dream of becoming a painter, and concluding with the commitment to pursuing this dream. Each paragraph logically connects to the next.

Language Use: The language is appropriate and largely accurate. Some expressions are quite vivid, such as comparing dreams to stars and describing the use of colors to convey emotions. However, there are a few areas where word choice could be improved for greater clarity or impact. For example, "With my pencil" could be broadened to include other artistic tools. Similarly, the phrase "preserve all the beautiful things" may be better expressed as "capture the beauty of the world."

Suggestions for Improvement:
1. Enhance Vocabulary: Incorporate more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition and enrich the description.
2. Elaborate on Personal Significance: Include more details about why painting specifically holds significance for you.
3. Provide Concrete Steps: Mention some specific steps you plan to take to achieve your dream, adding depth and personal commitment.

Overall, this essay successfully communicates the writer's dream and dedication to pursuing painting. With minor enhancements, it could reach higher levels of expressiveness and detail.
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-10-3 04:07 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
中文翻译
王艳 发表于 2025-10-3 04:07 | 显示全部楼层


这篇作文属于第二档,得分在19-24分之间。

内容和清晰度:文章清晰地讨论了梦想这一主题,重点谈及作者想成为画家的愿望。文章详细描述了这个梦想的意义以及对作者的重要性。内容表达完整,没有明显遗漏。

结构:文章结构连贯,从关于梦想的引言开始,逐步过渡到具体成为画家的梦想,并以追求这个梦想的承诺结束。每个段落之间逻辑连接顺畅。

语言运用:语言运用得当且大体准确。有些表达相当生动,比如将梦想比作星星,以及通过颜色传达情感的描述。但是,在某些地方词语选择可以改进以提高清晰度或影响力。例如,"With my pencil"可以扩展以包括其他艺术工具。同样,"preserve all the beautiful things"可能更好地表达为"capture the beauty of the world"。

改进建议:
1. 增强词汇:使用更丰富多样的词汇以避免重复并丰富描述。
2. 详细说明个人意义:加入更多细节说明为什么绘画对你具有特别的意义。
3. 提供具体步骤:提及一些实现梦想的具体步骤,为文章增添深度和个人承诺。

总体而言,这篇作文成功地表达了作者的梦想和对追求绘画的执着。经过小幅度的提升,它可以达到更高水平的表现力和细节度。
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-10-3 04:10 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
翻译作文
王艳 发表于 2025-10-3 04:10 | 显示全部楼层


每个人都有自己的梦想,一个美好的愿景,充满了对未来的希望与期待。梦想就像夜空中的星星,引导我们走向自己的命运。

从小我就梦想成为一名画家。我希望用我的画笔捕捉并保存世界上所有美好的事物。我的想象中充满了生动的景象,我希望能够环游世界,观赏引人入胜的风景,并通过独特的艺术风格记录我的经历。我设想用蓝色传达梦想的本质,用红色象征对明天的希望,用绿色代表对地球的保护。

我的梦想或许简单,但我决心付出全部努力去实现它。我知道实现这个目标需要激情、毅力和创造力,我发誓要在成为一名成功的艺术家的旅程中培养这些品质。
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