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Maggie0126 发表于 2025-10-3 03:22 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Dear John:
I am writing to tell you about a traditional Chinese festival. My favorite Chinese festival is the Mid -autumn.
Being one of the four traditional festivals in China, the Mid-autumn Festival is held on the 15th day of the eighth month of the lunar calendar.
There are some traditions for this festival. For example, the Chinese would have a family get-together on that day. After dinner, they often admire the full moon, which is said to be the roundest and brightest during the year.
Besides, mooncake is the symbol of the festival, which signifies reunion. In ancient times, mooncake was used to offer sacrifices to the moon god. Nowadays, people tend to give out pancakes as a present to their family and friends.
To be honest, I always look forward to every Mid-Autumn Festival because mooncake is my favourite food, especially the snowy monkey! It is a very interesting festival.
I am looking forward to your early reply.  
                              Yours   Like
陶果果 发表于 2025-10-3 03:22 | 显示全部楼层
Based on the essay provided, here is the evaluation and feedback:

**Score: 19-24 (Second Tier)**

**Content:**
The essay successfully introduces the Mid-Autumn Festival by providing key details such as its date, traditions, and symbolic significance. It shares personal insights and preferences, enhancing its relatability and engaging nature.

**Organization:**
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. It maintains coherence and logical progression from one idea to another. The description of traditions flows neatly and supports the central theme.

**Language Use:**
While the language use is mostly correct, it contains minor errors that do not significantly impede understanding. For instance, "snowy monkey" likely refers to "snowy mooncake" based on context; this kind of error can cause confusion.

**Suggestions for Improvement:**

1. **Correct Minor Errors:**
   - The phrase “snowy monkey” should be corrected to “snowy mooncake” for clarity.
   - Ensure all names are spelled correctly. For instance, "Yours Like" seems nonstandard; using a common closing like "Yours sincerely" would enhance clarity.

2. **Expand Vocabulary and Syntax:**
   - Further expansion of vocabulary can add depth. Synonyms for phrases like “family get-together” or “admire the full moon” can diversify word choice.

3. **Enhance Personal Expression:**
   - Consider elaborating on personal experiences or anecdotes related to the festival to make the narrative more engaging.

Overall, there is a clear attempt to fulfill the task requirements, and the essay is effective on core points, despite minor language inaccuracies. Adjustments in wording and expressions can elevate its overall impact.
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-10-3 03:23 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
中文回复 翻译作文
陶果果 发表于 2025-10-3 03:23 | 显示全部楼层
Maggie0126 发表于 2025-10-03 03:23
中文回复 翻译作文


亲爱的约翰:

我写信是想告诉你一个中国的传统节日。我最喜欢的中国节日是中秋节。

作为中国四大传统节日之一,中秋节在农历八月十五庆祝。

这个节日有一些传统。例如,中国人在这一天会进行家庭聚会。晚餐后,他们通常会欣赏满月,据说这是全年最圆最亮的月亮。

此外,月饼是这个节日的象征,象征着团圆。在古代,月饼用于向月神供奉。如今,人们倾向于把月饼作为礼物送给家人和朋友。

老实说,我总是期待每一个中秋节,因为月饼是我最喜欢的食物,尤其是冰皮月饼!这是一个非常有趣的节日。

期待早日收到你的回复。

你诚挚的,
Like
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-10-3 03:23 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
中文批改
陶果果 发表于 2025-10-3 03:24 | 显示全部楼层


以下是对您中文翻译内容的批改建议:

**内容和结构:**

1. **清晰度和连贯性:**
   - 整篇文字清楚地介绍了中秋节的基本信息、习俗以及个人喜好。这些信息提供了对该节日的良好概念。

2. **语言表达:**
   - 语言表达总体流畅,但某些地方可以稍作调整,更加贴近中文语言习惯。例如,“作为中国四大传统节日之一,中秋节在农历八月十五庆祝”可以调整为“中秋节是中国四大传统节日之一,庆祝时间是农历八月十五”。

**建议:**

1. **增加细节和文化背景:**
   - 可以考虑增加一些关于中秋节的文化背景和历史来源,以丰富内容,例如中秋节的起源故事、传说等。

2. **个人体验细节:**
   - 进一步分享个人经验或具体活动,比如和家人一起赏月的场景,可以增强叙述的吸引力。

3. **修正语言小错误:**
   - 原文中的“雪皮猴子”可能是误写,应该改为“冰皮月饼”,以确保准确传达意义。

**总结:**
整体上,翻译内容很好地完成了任务,介绍详尽且有个人色彩。通过对语言细节的注意和适度增加文化背景,文本会更具吸引力。
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-10-3 03:25 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
作文修改
陶果果 发表于 2025-10-3 03:26 | 显示全部楼层


以下是对原作文的修改建议,以提升其整体表达和结构:

---

Dear John,

I am writing to tell you about my favorite traditional Chinese festival — the Mid-Autumn Festival.

As one of the four major traditional festivals in China, the Mid-Autumn Festival is celebrated on the 15th day of the eighth month according to the lunar calendar.

There are several traditions associated with this festival. For instance, Chinese families typically gather for a reunion dinner on this day. After dinner, they often admire the full moon, which is said to be the roundest and brightest of the year.

Mooncakes, a symbol of the festival, signify family reunion. Historically, mooncakes were used as offerings to the moon god. Nowadays, people give mooncakes to friends and family as gifts.

Personally, I always look forward to the Mid-Autumn Festival because mooncakes are my favorite food, especially the snowy mooncake! It is such an interesting and culturally rich festival.

I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

Yours sincerely,
[Your Name]

---

**Modifications Made:**

1. **Introduction:** Clarified the expression of "Mid-Autumn Festival" being the favorite festival right from the beginning.
   
2. **Traditions Explanation:** Enhanced the description of traditions by specifying "reunion dinner" instead of "family get-together," providing more clarity and cultural context.

3. **Mooncake Description:** Corrected "snowy monkey" to "snowy mooncake" for accuracy.

4. **Language Use:** Applied more formal language and expressions suitable for letter writing.

5. **Closing Signature:** Suggested using "[Your Name]" as a placeholder for personalizing the closing signature appropriately.

These changes aim to improve clarity, cultural context, and linguistic precision, while maintaining the original essence of the message.
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