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zikao202410 发表于 2024-10-13 13:51 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
I am glad to announce that I have won the first place in the English Speech Contest. It is very significant that being prepared for will hold press conference for me tomorrow afternoon. I am prepared for everything that might be asked by the reporters concerning my success in English learning. Here are sikful for their supports and encouragements continuous.
4、Would you like join in English Speech Contest nextly?
Yes,I am considerably expect every English Speech Contest,due to my passion of English. Furthermore, thess experiences  are meaningful for me.
5、What do you want to  say with future contestans?
Setting a clear goal,study continuously and embrace mistakes.As long as you keep studing and practiceing,you will abtain success in the future.
Thankful for this opportunity and experience helped me make prograss in my study.
王艳 发表于 2024-10-13 13:51 | 显示全部楼层
This essay appears to be a speech or announcement regarding winning an English Speech Contest, but it contains numerous errors and some unclear phrases. Here's the evaluation and suggestions for improvement:

**Score Evaluation:**

- **Content:** The writer attempted to convey excitement about winning the contest and gave some advice for future participants. However, there are several areas where clarity is lacking or additional detail could improve communication.

- **Structure:** The structure is not very clear. The essay lacks a coherent flow, with abrupt transitions between points. It also contains sections that seem like answers to questions which might not be relevant in this context.

- **Language:** The language use is inconsistent, with many grammatical mistakes, spelling errors, and awkward phrasing that impede understanding.

**Suggested Score: 11/30 (Fourth Tier)**

- The language errors and structural issues significantly affect comprehension.

**Areas for Improvement:**

1. **Clarity and Coherence:**
   - Start with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each section should transition smoothly into the next.
   - Avoid mixing speech elements with Q&A unless it's structured as an interview.

2. **Grammar and Vocabulary:**
   - Correct grammar errors, such as verb tense inconsistencies (e.g., "have won" vs. "holds").
   - Fix vocabulary errors and typos, such as "sikful" (possibly meant "thankful") and "nextly" (possible meant "next").
   - Use singular/plural forms correctly (e.g., "support and encouragement").

3. **Consistency:**
   - Use consistent terminology throughout the text. Avoid switching terms without clear contexts, such as referring to future contests in the middle of discussing a current achievement.

4. **Expression and Tone:**
   - Ensure the tone is consistent with the purpose of the announcement. If it’s celebratory, maintain a positive and enthusiastic tone throughout.

5. **Details and Support:**
   - Include specific aspects of what was instrumental in achieving success, such as preparation techniques or support from specific individuals/groups.

6. **Proper Conclusion:**
   - Conclude with a summary or a strong closing statement to reinforce the achievement.

Overall, focusing on these key areas should help improve both the clarity and effectiveness of the communication.
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