设为首页收藏本站今日发布APP下载 温馨提醒您:今天是2025年06月17日,距离2025年10月统考还有

厦门撷墨官网

 找回密码
 新学员注册

QQ登录

只需一步,快速开始

微信登录

微信扫码,快速开始

搜索

Email

  [复制链接]
3462 |1
夏天 发表于 2024-9-13 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Dear John
How are you?I am writing this Email to tell you Chinese culture.
In our China,have many festivals,The Spring Festival,Qingming Festival and Chongyang Festival.but I induction Spring Festival give you something.The reasons are as follows:
Firstly and formost,the Spring Festival is traditional Chinese Festival.it is the first day on the new year.when Spring festival is coming.many people celeberary Spring Festival in come.they are share some food to everyone,and give children many littel money,what's more,you listen the many laught to every city.Last but not the least,Spring Festival is coming,it not only bring happiness and laught to somebody but also interesting activities to many family.So I live Spring Festival.
Best Wishes
Li Ke
王艳 发表于 2024-9-13 10:58 | 显示全部楼层
Thank you for sharing your email! Below is an evaluation of your email based on the specified scoring criteria and some suggestions for improvement.

### Evaluation:

#### Content (13/18)
- You mentioned key points about the Spring Festival, such as it being a traditional Chinese festival, the celebratory activities, and the feelings it brings.
- Some details are either unclear or could be expanded upon more coherently.

#### Structure (5/6)
- The email follows a basic structure: greeting, body, and closing.
- There are issues with punctuation and sentence flow that hinder clear understanding.

#### Grammar and Vocabulary (5/6)
- Uses basic vocabulary and structures.
- Contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that impact readability, but not severely.

Overall Evaluation: 13 + 5 + 5 = **23/30**

### Suggestions for Improvement:
1. **Grammar and Sentence Structure**:
   - Correct grammatical mistakes and improve sentence structure for clarity.
   - Example: "In China, we have many festivals such as the Spring Festival, Qingming Festival, and Chongyang Festival. I would like to introduce the Spring Festival to you."

2. **Spelling**:
   - Ensure correct spelling.
   - "formost" -> "foremost"
   - "celeberary" -> "celebrate"
   - "littel" -> "little"
   - "laught" -> "laughter"

3. **Punctuation**:
   - Use proper punctuation to separate ideas and improve readability.
   - Example: "The Spring Festival is a traditional Chinese festival. It is celebrated on the first day of the new year. When the Spring Festival comes, many people celebrate by sharing food and giving children red envelopes with money."

4. **Clarity and Cohesion**:
   - Use clear and complete sentences.
   - Example: "What's more, you can hear laughter throughout the cities as everyone enjoys the festivities."

5. **Word Choice and Tone**:
   - Choose appropriate words and maintain a consistent tone.
   - Example: "The Spring Festival brings joy and laughter to everyone. It also features many interesting activities for families."

### Revised Email:
  1. Dear John,

  2. How are you? I am writing this email to tell you about Chinese culture.

  3. In China, we have many festivals such as the Spring Festival, Qingming Festival, and Chongyang Festival. I would like to introduce the Spring Festival to you. The Spring Festival is a traditional Chinese holiday, celebrated on the first day of the new year.

  4. When the Spring Festival arrives, people celebrate by sharing food with everyone and giving children red envelopes filled with money. You can hear laughter throughout the cities as everyone enjoys the festivities. The Spring Festival not only brings happiness and laughter but also offers many interesting activities for families.

  5. I love the Spring Festival because it is a time of joy and togetherness.

  6. Best Wishes,
  7. Li Ke
复制代码


This revision addresses grammatical errors, improves sentence structure, and ensures clarity and cohesiveness of the content.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 新学员注册

本版积分规则

考前冲刺
重要公告

同学,你好

      近期学习安排

      (1)第一轮辅导资料包在个人学习系统-【资料更新】下载

      (2)每日学习安排详见学习计划表

      (3)个人学习系统唯一网址:www.xiemo.vip,建议电脑端登陆学习

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表