How are you? I am writing this email to tell you about the volunteer activities I have been involved in, such as teaching children, cleaning houses, and helping elderly people write letters to their children. Among these activities, I prefer teaching children. The reasons are as follows:
Firstly, teaching children new words can help them understand the world better. It not only brings them happiness but also interests me a lot. I love working with them very much.
Next, I think if you visit this small city and see the children here, you will love it too. This place is beautiful and friendly. I hope you will come when you have free time. I look forward to seeing you.
1. **内容要点**:内容较齐全,但可以增加更多具体细节来使文章更丰富,例如更多关于每项活动的具体情况和自己的感受。
2. **词汇和语法**:
- 改善一些句子的流畅性,例如“Firstly, teaching children new words can help them understand the world better.”可以改为“Firstly, by teaching children new words, I can help them to better understand the world around them.”
- “I love working with them very much.” 改为 “I truly enjoy working with them.”
3. **连贯性和衔接词**:可以增加一些连贯词来使文章更流畅。如在提到不同活动之间可以使用“Moreover”或“Additionally”。
**改进后的范文**:
Volunteer Activities
Dear Tom,
How are you? I am writing this email to tell you about some volunteer activities I have been involved in, such as teaching children, cleaning houses, and helping elderly people write letters to their children. Among these activities, I prefer teaching children for several reasons.
Firstly, by teaching children new words, I can help them to better understand the world around them. This not only brings them happiness but also interests me greatly. I truly enjoy working with them.
Moreover, if you visit this small city and meet the children here, I believe you will love it too. The place is beautiful and the people are very friendly. I hope you can come when you have free time. I look forward to seeing you.