作文评分及修改

Protection of Environment
In recent years with rapid development of modern cities,there are many problems of environmental  protection. one of the most severely problems is air, water and soil of serious pollution .Form my perspective,it is undoubtedly that governments are playing the most important role in the environment protection today.The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The first point ,I want to mention is that governments of many countries have done a lot actions.such as legislative steps have been introduced to control air pollution, to protect the forest and sea resources and to stop any environmental pollution.and that is because the polluted air does great harm to people’ s health, the polluted water causes diseases and death. Secondly government must take even more concrete measures. Firstly, it should let people fully realize the importance of environment protection through education. Secondly, much greater efforts should be made to put the pollution. Thirdly, those who intentionally destroy the environment should be severely punished. Last but not least，we can reduce air pollution by driving less, using public transportation, or walking or biking whenever possible.and we can conserve water by taking shorter shower sand watering your lawn less often.Recycling also helps to conserve natural resources.
From what i mention above ,we can easily come to the conclusion that governments are playing the most important role in the environment protection today. After all it is crucial to make people aware that destroying the environment means destroying mankind itself.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

本篇作文给出的观点比较明确，主要讲述了政府在环境保护中的重要性。然而，表达上存在一些语法错误和词汇不准确的问题。以下是对该作文的评分及修改建议：

评分：第二档（19-24分）

修改建议：
1. 第一段中的"Form my perspective"应改为"From my perspective"；"is undoubtedly that"应改为"is undoubtedly because"。
2. 第二段中的"the most severely problems"应改为"the most severe problems"；"stop any environmental pollution"应改为"prevent environmental pollution"。
3. 第三段中的"to let people fully realize"应改为"to help people fully realize"；"should be made to put the pollution"应改为"should be made to control pollution"。
4. 第四段中的"driving less, using public transportation, or walking or biking whenever possible"应改为"driving less, using public transportation, walking, or biking whenever possible"；"taking shorter shower sand watering your lawn less often"应改为"taking shorter showers and watering your lawn less often"。
5. 最后一段中的"destroying mankind itself"应改为"destroying humanity itself"。

修改后的作文如下：

Protection of Environment
In recent years, with the rapid development of modern cities, there have been many problems of environmental protection. One of the most severe problems is air, water, and soil pollution. From my perspective, it is undoubtedly because governments are playing the most important role in environmental protection today. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.

First and foremost, governments of many countries have taken numerous actions. Legislative steps have been introduced to control air pollution, protect forest and sea resources, and prevent environmental pollution. This is because polluted air causes great harm to people's health, and polluted water causes diseases and death.

Secondly, the government must take even more concrete measures. Firstly, it should help people fully realize the importance of environmental protection through education. Secondly, much greater efforts should be made to control pollution. Thirdly, those who intentionally destroy the environment should be severely punished.

Lastly, we can reduce air pollution by driving less, using public transportation, walking, or biking whenever possible. We can also conserve water by taking shorter showers and watering our lawns less often. Recycling also helps to conserve natural resources.

In conclusion, from what I mentioned above, we can easily come to the conclusion that governments are playing the most important role in environmental protection today. After all, it is crucial to make people aware that destroying the environment means destroying humanity itself.

注意：以上修改仅为参考，具体修正还需结合文章完整内容进行综合判断。