作文批改

                   Unforgettable Travel Experience
    Recently, more and more people are talking about unforgettable travel experience. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that I had an unforgettable travel experience when I went to WeiHai. The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.
    The first point that I want to mention is that WeiHai is a beautiful place, and that is because  it has fresh air, and the sea is blue. When I played in the sea, I felt happy and relaxed.What is more,  it's easier for us to understand that the people in WeiHai are very friendly , which is because when my car broke down during the trip, they kindly helped me fix it.
    From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that WeiHai is truly unforgettable travel of place . After all, its beauty and friendly people make me unforgettable.


请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

批改如下：

Unforgettable Travel Experience - 19分

Recently, more and more people are talking about unforgettable travel experience. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that I had an unforgettable travel experience when I went to WeiHai. The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.

The first point that I want to mention is that WeiHai is a beautiful place, and that is because it has fresh air, and the sea is blue. When I played in the sea, I felt happy and relaxed.What is more, it's easier for us to understand that the people in WeiHai are very friendly, which is because when my car broke down during the trip, they kindly helped me fix it.

From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that WeiHai is truly unforgettable travel of place. After all, its beauty and friendly people make me unforgettable.

评语：这篇作文的主题明确，谈论了作者在威海的旅行经历。然而，作文存在一些问题。

1.内容不够充分。作文只提到作者去威海旅行，没有具体描述旅行的经历和感受，也没有提到为什么这次旅行是难以忘怀的。

2.篇章结构有待改进。作文缺乏引言和结尾，没有很好地给读者一个整体的印象。

3.语言表达需要改进。作文中出现了一些语法错误和不恰当的用词，需要进行修改和修正。

总的来说，这篇作文的内容比较简单，可以在描述和表达方面进行进一步的补充和提升。希望你可以继续努力，写出更好的作文。