作文批改

                                             Unforgettable Travel Experience
    Recently, more and more people are talking about unforgettable travel experience. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that it is very unforgettable travel go to  WeiHai. The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.
    The first point that I want to mention is that WeiHai is a beauty places, and that is because there have fresh air, and the sea is blue. We play very happy in sea .What is more,  it's easier for us to understand that the people in Weihai are also very friendly , which is because when my car broke down , they helped me fix the car .
    From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that WeiHai is unforgettable travel of place . After all, there is a beauty places and people very friendly.


请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评分：第三档    13-18分

不足之处：
1. 文章结构杂乱，没有明确的开头、主体和结尾。
2. 内容不够具体，只提到了威海是美丽的地方，但没有具体描述美丽的景点或体验。
3. 语言运用不够准确，有些句子表达不清楚，造成理解上的困难。
4. 有一些语法错误，如主谓不一致、代词使用错误等。

改进建议：
1. 在文章开头明确写出主题，并给出一句简单的介绍或总结。
2. 在主体部分，可以根据自己的经历或体验，具体描述威海的景点、特色等，让读者能够感受到作者的旅行经历。
3. 注意语法准确性和句子表达的清晰度，在写作前多思考一下每个句子想要表达的意思，避免模糊或不准确的表达。
4. 仔细检查是否有语法错误，尤其是主谓一致、时态使用等基础问题。

范文改进：

Unforgettable Travel Experience
Recently, more and more people are talking about unforgettable travel experiences. From my perspective, I had an unforgettable travel experience when I went to WeiHai. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.

Firstly, WeiHai is a beautiful place. It has fresh air, and the sea is blue. When I played in the sea, I felt extremely happy and relaxed. The stunning natural scenery there left a deep impression on me.

Secondly, the people in WeiHai are very friendly. When my car broke down during the trip, they kindly helped me fix it. Their warmth and hospitality made me feel welcomed and cared for.

In conclusion, WeiHai is truly an unforgettable travel destination. Its beauty and friendly people make the experience remarkable and enjoyable.

Note: The revised essay provides a clearer structure and more specific details about the author's travel experience in WeiHai. The language usage and grammar have also been improved to enhance clarity and coherence.