作文批改

                                        Travel Meaning
    Recently, more and more people are talking about  travel meaning. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that the travel is very important for people. The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.
    The first point that I want to mention is that the travel can make more friend, and that is because we can travel together by car. We are playing game together. What is more,  it's easier for us to understand that the travel make my mood better , which is because we can  look beautiful view in travel during.
    From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that the travel is very important. After all, the travel can make more friend and make mood better.


请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评分：第三档 13-18分

修改后的作文如下：

Travel Meaning

Recently, more and more people are talking about the meaning of travel. From my perspective, there is no doubt that travel is very important for people. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.

Firstly, travel can help us make more friends. When we travel together by car or play games together, it provides us with opportunities to bond and connect with others. Additionally, travel can improve our mood as we experience the beauty of different places and enjoy breathtaking views.

From what I have mentioned above, it is evident that travel is very important. After all, it helps us make new friends and enhances our mood.

评语：这篇作文在表达上有一些不准确和语法错误，需要进行改进。同时，也需要加强段落的连贯性和逻辑性。

具体修改如下：

Recently, more and more people are talking about the meaning of travel. From my perspective, there is no doubt that travel is very important for people. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.

Firstly, travel can help us make more friends. When we travel together, whether it's by car, train, or plane, we have the opportunity to meet new people and create connections. By sharing experiences, exploring new places, and engaging in activities together, friendships can easily form. For example, when my family and I went on a road trip last summer, we met another family at a rest stop and ended up traveling together for the rest of the journey. Through this experience, we not only made new friends but also had a lot of fun together.

Additionally, travel has a positive impact on our mood. When we embark on a journey, we leave our daily routines and responsibilities behind and immerse ourselves in new environments. The change of scenery and the enjoyment of beautiful views can have a profound effect on our state of mind. For me, whenever I travel to a picturesque destination and witness stunning landscapes, I feel a sense of peace and joy that instantly lifts my spirits. It's like a temporary escape from the pressures of life.

In conclusion, travel is more than just visiting new places, it is about the experiences and connections we make along the way. It allows us to broaden our horizons, embrace diversity, and appreciate the beauty of the world. Therefore, it is undeniable that travel plays a significant role in our lives. It not only helps us make new friends but also enhances our overall well-being.

评语：该作文在内容上进行了进一步的扩展和举例，使得论点更加充分和具体化。另外，在语言运用和句子结构上也有明显改善。然而，仍然存在一些语法错误和表达不够准确的地方，需要继续努力提高。