作文批改

My favourite Sport

With the development of society, there is a growing concern over the issue of health. Everyone knows that sport can prevent our body becoming more healthy.

There are many sports which you best like. Different people have different choices, some like playing basketball, some like running, some like swimming and so on. My favourite sport is running. Why? There are three reasons. First, running is compared with playing basketball or swiomming. Running can not occupy terra I can run on streets. Second, running is compared with driving sports. Running can protect the environment, because driving sports can cause air pollution. Third, running is compared with playing electrical games. Running can make our body stronger.

In conclusion, to make my body more healthy and a better environment, I choose running as my favorite sport.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

根据题目要求，我将对作文进行打分并指出不足之处。

总体印象：第三档，13-18分

以下是对作文的评分及指出不足之处：

1. 内容要点：完成了试题规定的任务，提到了自己喜欢的运动、选择的原因以及与其他运动的比较，但可以更加详细地展开论述。
2. 篇章结构：作文包括了引言、正文和结论，但缺乏明确的段落划分和过渡句，导致逻辑结构不够清晰。
3. 语言运用：词汇使用基本满足任务要求，但存在一些语法错误和表达不准确的地方。例如，“running is compared with playing basketball or swiomming”中的“swiomming”应为“swimming”，“can not occupy terra I can run on streets”中的“occupy”应为“require”，“my favourite sport is running”中的“favourite”应为“favorite”。此外，句子结构较为简单，可以尝试使用更多复杂的句子结构和连接词来提高表达的准确性和流畅性。

总体而言，这篇作文对所要表达的内容进行了一定的描述，但还有提高的空间。建议在下次写作时更加注重篇章结构的划分和独立段落的使用，同时加强语法和词汇的准确性。

请把我作文中的不足完善一下，重新写一篇。

流星 2310 发表于 2023-10-20 16:38
请把我作文中的不足完善一下，重新写一篇。 ...

当代社会的发展引起了人们对健康问题的日益关注。众所周知，体育运动有助于提升身体健康。不同的人喜欢不同的运动，有人喜欢打篮球，有人喜欢跑步，有人喜欢游泳等等。而我最喜欢的运动是跑步。为什么呢？以下是三个原因。

首先，相比于打篮球或游泳，跑步不需要占用特定的场地，我可以在街道上随时随地跑步。这意味着我无需受到时间和地点的限制，可以自由地锻炼身体。

其次，与驾驶类运动相比，跑步能够保护环境，因为驾驶类运动会导致空气污染。通过选择跑步作为我的运动方式，我能够为创造更清洁的环境贡献自己的一份力量。

第三，与玩电子游戏相比，跑步可以让我们的身体更强壮。现代生活中很多人都面临久坐不动、缺乏运动的问题，而跑步可以帮助我增强体力，保持身体的健康与活力。

综上所述，为了让我的身体更健康，同时也为了创造更好的环境，我选择跑步作为我最喜欢的运动。通过跑步，我可以随时锻炼身体，保护环境，并使自己变得更加强壮。

陶果果 发表于 2023-10-20 16:39
当代社会的发展引起了人们对健康问题的日益关注。众所周知，体育运动有助于提升身体健康。不同的人喜欢不 ...

请把作文写成英文

流星 2310 发表于 2023-10-20 16:43
请把作文写成英文

With the development of modern society, there is an increasing concern about health issues. It is widely recognized that sports can contribute to a healthier body. Different people have different preferences when it comes to sports - some enjoy playing basketball, some like swimming, and others prefer running. As for me, my favorite sport is running. There are three reasons why I choose running as my favorite sport.

First and foremost, compared to basketball or swimming, running does not require specific facilities. I can simply run on the streets, which provides me the freedom to exercise wherever and whenever I want. This flexibility allows me to maintain a regular fitness routine without being restricted by time or location.

Secondly, running is an environmentally-friendly sport in comparison to driving-centric activities. Engaging in running helps reduce air pollution, which is a major concern in our modern world. By choosing running as my preferred sport, I am actively contributing to the creation of a cleaner and healthier environment.

Last but not least, running helps to improve physical fitness, which is particularly important in today's sedentary lifestyle. Many people suffer from a lack of exercise due to long hours of sitting or engaging in minimal physical activity. Running, on the other hand, helps me to build stamina, strengthen my body, and maintain overall health and vitality.

In conclusion, running is not only my favorite sport but also a great way to keep my body healthy and contribute to a better environment. Through running, I can exercise anytime and anywhere, protect the environment, and make myself physically stronger and fitter.