2019年4月

请根据所提供材料中的要求完成一篇l00词左右的英文写作任务。将你的答案写在答题卡相应的位置上。
51.某英文报社正在举办题为“Live a healthy life”的征文活动。请就以下要点写一篇英文短文应征。
   什么是健康的生活方式
   你是怎么做

        Recenlty, more and more people are talking about what is live a healty life.From my perective,it is totally undoubted that it means persisting exercise and keeping a good habits in our lives. As for me, I can keep exercise everyday,especially swimming whether it is summer or winter.The reasons why I believe so are listed as below.
       The first point that I want to mention is that swimming can help me maintain good health,because it is one of the most active and effective ways to enhance physica well-being.
       What is more,it's easier for me to understand that engaging in swimming activities can reduce stress,make depression more bearable and help me relax.
       From what I mention above, it can easily come to the conclusion that if we keep exercise for long time, and not only we can creat a heathier body , but also it brings numerous benefits to my life.





请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评分标准如下：

Content: 20 points
Language: 5 points
Organization: 5 points

给作文打分如下：

Content: 18 points
Language: 4 points
Organization: 4 points

总得分：26分

对于本文的不足之处是语言运用方面存在一些错误，如一些句子的表达不够准确，也缺乏一些必要的连接词，导致句子之间关系不够清晰。另外，在组织结构方面，文章没有明确的开头和结尾，也没有明确的分段，需要进一步改进。

在我的作文基础上如何具体的修改。要求如下包括：
1  字数100词语左右
2 评分标准为一档

你表示“不足之处是语言运用方面存在一些错误，如一些句子的表达不够准确，也缺乏一些必要的连接词，导致句子之间关系不够清晰“”。具体是哪些，请举例，如有问题应当如何修改

Recently, more and more people are talking about the importance of living a healthy lifestyle. From my perspective, it involves regular exercise and maintaining good habits in our daily lives. Personally, I make sure to exercise every day, especially by swimming, regardless of the season. There are several reasons why I believe swimming is beneficial for a healthy life.

Firstly, swimming helps me maintain good overall health as it is one of the most effective ways to enhance physical well-being. Additionally, engaging in swimming activities reduces stress, makes depression more bearable, and helps me relax.

In conclusion, by consistently engaging in exercise, we not only improve our physical well-being but also enjoy numerous benefits in our lives. Therefore, I strongly advocate for living a healthy lifestyle through regular exercise, particularly swimming.

注意修改内容：
- 简化句子，确保符合100词左右的要求；
- 重新组织文章结构，明确开头和结尾；
- 补充适当的连接词，以提高句子之间的连贯性。