作文批改

    Dear Tom

    This is Li Ke from Beijing. The reason that I am writing to you is because I am looking for a teaching job. Besides of that, here goes another thing that i think is important, which is that  I think I will be a good teacher.

    Lastly, I believe you should know this at the very end of my letter, If I become a teacher, I will work hard to teach my students.I will work with children. I love children very much, so I will be happy every day. I will also be able to work outside sometimes. but I will work hard every day, sometimes I will be tired. I can also get more experience from my job. I think I will be a good teacher.

    I appreciate your time for reading my letter and I am looking forward to you reply. I hope everything goes well with you life.

    Best regards,

    Li Ke

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

Dear Tom,

This is Li Ke from Beijing. I am writing to express my interest in a teaching job. Furthermore, I believe that I have the qualities to be a good teacher.

Firstly, I would like to emphasize that if given the opportunity to become a teacher, I will work diligently to educate my students. I have a passion for working with children and enjoy being around them. This will bring me joy every day and motivate me to excel in my role. Additionally, teaching allows for some outdoor work, providing me with a dynamic work environment. However, I acknowledge that teaching can be physically and mentally demanding at times. Despite this, I am willing to put in the effort needed to support my students and continuously improve my own skills.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I look forward to your reply and wish you all the best in life.

Best regards,
Li Ke

评分：

根据所给的评分标准，我会给这篇作文打第二档（19-24分）。

该作文清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点。语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解。然而，还有一些需要改进的地方：

1.语法错误：文章中有几处语法错误，例如：Besides of that（除此之外），正确的表达应该是Besides that；goes（下面），正确的表达应该是here；you（你），正确的表达应该是your。请在写作过程中更加注意语法的准确性。

2.表达不够流畅：文章中有一些表达不够流畅的地方，例如：Lastly（最后）和at the very end of my letter（在信的最后），这两个表达在上下文中意思重复，可以删除一个。另外，在表达自己喜欢孩子并且愿意为他们付出努力时，可以使用更加具体、生动的词语，使文章更有说服力。

总体而言，这篇作文已经基本完成了试题规定的任务。需要注意的是在写作过程中要注意语法准确性和表达的流畅性，使文章更加符合英语写作的要求。

希望对你有所帮助！