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辣条 发表于 2023-10-17 20:27 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
几名民警
王艳 发表于 2023-10-17 20:28 | 显示全部楼层
Dear Tom,
This is Li Ke from Beijing. I am writing to you to offer some advice on how to maintain an optimistic mindset. Additionally, I believe it is important for you to shift your perspective and begin to build your confidence in order to overcome problems instead of avoiding them. It is crucial for you to identify what makes you anxious and work through those issues.

I appreciate your time in reading my letter and I am looking forward to your reply. I hope everything goes well in your life.

Best regards,
Li Ke

评分原则:

根据所给的评分标准,我将对你的作文进行打分。

1) 语言运用:7分

你的作文使用了比较简单直接的句子结构,表达基本清晰。但是,在某些地方你的表达还存在一些错误和不够准确的地方。

2) 内容要点:12分

你在作文中提到了保持乐观心态和转变观点的重要性,并给出了一些建议。然而,你的论述不够充分,没有详细解释这些建议的有效性和实践方法。

3) 篇章结构:6分

你的作文结构较为简单,缺乏明确的开头和结尾。你的论述也显得有点杂乱无章,需要更好地组织和连接句子和段落。

总评:25分(第一档)

虽然你的作文有一些语言错误和篇章结构上的不足,但你的主题清晰明确,并且提出了一些有效的建议。希望你能在以后的写作中注意语法和结构的准确性,同时更好地展开论述和连接内容。祝你生活愉快。

Best regards,
Li Ke
王艳 发表于 2023-10-17 20:30 | 显示全部楼层
评分:第三档 13-18分

修改:
Dear Tom,

This is Li Ke from Beijing. I am writing to you to share some tips on how to stay optimistic. Additionally, I believe that it's important for you to change your perspective. Lastly, building up your confidence and facing problems head-on instead of avoiding them will also help improve your overall outlook on life.

To start, identifying the root causes of your anxiety is crucial. Understanding what triggers your negative emotions can help you better manage and overcome them. By acknowledging and addressing these anxieties, you can take steps towards finding solutions and ultimately become more optimistic.

Furthermore, it's essential to shift your point of view. Often, our negative outlook is a result of focusing on the problems rather than the possibilities. Try to reframe situations and approach them with a positive mindset. Cultivating gratitude and practicing mindfulness can also aid in shifting your perspective and maintaining an optimistic outlook.

Lastly, building confidence is key. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Rather than avoiding challenges, embrace them as opportunities for growth. Break down your goals into manageable tasks and celebrate every small achievement along the way. By taking proactive steps towards your goals, you'll gain confidence and positivity.

I hope these suggestions can be helpful to you. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, and I look forward to your reply. Wishing you all the best in life.

Sincerely,
Li Ke
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