作文批改：I like playing sports.

作文内容：
  I like playing sports.
    I have many hobbies, but today I`d like to share of my favorite withall of you: I like playing sports very much. Especially whether it is summer orwinter, I will often go swimming. Here are several reasons why I like playingsports.

    Firstly,it helps me keep health. Exercise is one of the most active and effective meansto enhance the physical health.Secondly, playing sports is a good way to relax. When I`ll felling down,playing sports can reduce stress , make depression more bearable, and help merelax.Finally, it`s easier to make friends while Itake part in sport activities, because it has the same interest.

At in all, I like playingsports, because playing sports is really a good things.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

评语：这篇作文在表达上有一些问题，句子结构不够流畅，词汇使用也有些不准确。下面是对每个档次的评分标准进行评价：

第一档 25-30分：虽然这篇作文符合题目要求，但是语法和句子结构上还有改进的空间。评分：24分

第二档 19-24分：这篇作文基本满足了题目要求，但语法错误和句子结构不够流畅。评分：18分

第三档 13-18分：这篇作文提到了关键内容要点，但有一些语法错误和句子结构不够清晰。评分：15分

第四档 7-12分：这篇作文遗漏了一些内容要点，语法错误比较多，影响了理解。评分：8分

第五档 1-6分：这篇作文明显遗漏了内容要点，语法和句子结构非常简单，语言错误很多。评分：2分

综上所述，根据评分标准，我给予这篇作文13分。希望作者能注意语法和句子结构的改进，在写作中更加流畅和准确。

进行具体的修改

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-08 21:51
进行具体的修改

I like playing sports. I have many hobbies, but today I'd like to share my favorite one with all of you: I really enjoy playing sports, especially swimming, whether it is summer or winter. There are several reasons why I am so passionate about sports.

Firstly, playing sports helps me maintain good health. Exercise is one of the most active and effective ways to enhance physical well-being.

Secondly, sports provide a great way for me to relax. Whenever I am feeling down, engaging in sports activities can reduce stress, make depression more bearable, and help me relax.

Furthermore, participating in sports activities makes it easier for me to make friends who share the same interests. It's always enjoyable to connect with others through the joy of sports.

In conclusion, I genuinely love playing sports because it brings numerous benefits to my life. Please join me in embracing the wonderful world of sports!

以上是对原文进行修改后的作文，注意到以下几点修改：

1. 第一句话中加入了更具体的细节，即我喜欢游泳。

2. 修正了句子结构，使其更加流畅。

3. 修改了表达方式，使得文章更加连贯和易读。

希望这次修改能够提高作文在表达和句子结构上的准确性和流畅性。

那如果说以修改后的，作文在第几档：
I like playing sports. I have many hobbies, but today I'd like to share my favorite one with all of you: I really enjoy playing sports, especially swimming, whether it is summer or winter. There are several reasons why I am so passionate about sports.

  Firstly, playing sports helps me maintain good health. Exercise is one of the most active and effective ways to enhance physical well-being.

  Secondly, sports provide a great way for me to relax. Whenever I am feeling down, engaging in sports activities can reduce stress, make depression more bearable, and help me relax.

  Furthermore, participating in sports activities makes it easier for me to make friends who share the same interests. It's always enjoyable to connect with others through the joy of sports.

  In conclusion, I love playing sports because it brings numerous benefits to my life.

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-08 22:00
那如果说以修改后的，作文在第几档：
I like playing  ...

根据修改后的作文内容，这篇作文可以被归入第二档，得分19-24分。以下是对每个档次的评价：

第一档 25-30分：完全满足题目要求，表达清晰，语法和句子结构准确，词汇运用丰富恰当。

第二档 19-24分：文章完成了题目要求，清晰表达了主要内容要点，语法和句子结构基本准确，词汇运用较为合适。

第三档 13-18分：文章基本完成了题目要求，提及了主要内容要点，但可能有些遗漏或不够清晰，语法和句子结构有一些错误，词汇选择有限。

第四档 7-12分：文章只完成了部分题目要求，内容要点存在较大遗漏，语法和句子结构错误较多，词汇使用单调。

第五档 1-6分：文章未能完成题目要求，关键内容要点遗漏明显，语法和句子结构严重错误，词汇使用非常有限。

根据修改后的作文内容，可以给予20分的评分。

如果要提升至第一档的话，如何进行修改

sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-08 22:04
如果要提升至第一档的话，如何进行修改 ...

要提升到第一档，可以进行以下修改：

I have a strong passion for playing sports. Among my many hobbies, sports is my favorite. Whether it's summer or winter, I find myself drawn to the exhilaration of engaging in various physical activities, especially swimming. There are several reasons why I am deeply enthusiastic about sports.

First and foremost, playing sports is key to maintaining optimum health. Through regular exercise, I can enhance my physical well-being and keep myself in top form. The active nature of sports allows me to challenge myself physically, pushing my limits and improving my endurance.

Additionally, sports serve as an excellent outlet for relaxation. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or stressed, immersing myself in sports activities brings me a sense of calm and tranquility. It diminishes the weight of depression, and helps me find solace from life's challenges. The rhythmic motions of swimming or the adrenaline rush from team sports provide a rejuvenating escape from the daily grind.

Last but not least, participating in sports activities has granted me the opportunity to form meaningful connections and build lasting friendships. Sharing the same interests and goals with fellow athletes creates a strong sense of camaraderie. The shared experiences and moments of triumph or defeat forge bonds that extend beyond the realm of sports.

In conclusion, my love for playing sports stems from its numerous benefits to my overall well-being. From physical health to mental relaxation and social connections, sports enrich my life in immeasurable ways. I am grateful for the joy and fulfillment that sports bring into my life, making it an integral part of who I am.

通过以上修改后的内容，作文可以被归为第一档，得分25-30分。修改后的作文更加清晰，语法和句子结构准确，词汇运用更加丰富和恰当。每个段落都展示了作者对体育运动的热爱，并涵盖了文中所述的主要原因。