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My Activities in Leisure Time

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Keil 发表于 2023-4-15 10:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
评分及修改建议与原文修改
Recently, more and more people are taking about their spare time. From my perspective, there is no doubt that the go hiking. The reasons for my preference are listed below.
The first point that I want to mention is that make me feel relax, and that is because every time when I  feel tired, go hiking attracted by the nature, my tired will go with the wind. What is more, builds up my body but also makes me refreshed and keep good shape, both my body and spirit.
From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that the most interesting and important one is go hiking. After all ,both my body and spirit.
admin 发表于 2023-4-15 10:10 | 显示全部楼层
评分及修改建议:

得分:C+

原因:

1.语法错误较多,需要改正。
2.表达不够清晰,有些地方需要重新表述。
3.结尾缺少总结性的句子。

修改后的文本:

现在越来越多的人开始谈论他们的空闲时间。从我的角度来看,毫无疑问,去徒步旅行是我最喜欢的休闲活动。我的偏好理由如下:

首先,徒步旅行让我感到放松,因为每当我感到疲惫时,走进大自然中,我的疲劳就会随风而去。同时,徒步旅行不仅可以锻炼我的身体,还能使我保持精力充沛和良好的体型,受益匪浅。

通过以上所述,我们可以很容易地得出结论,徒步旅行是最有趣、最重要的一项活动。毕竟,它不仅对我的身体有益,而且对我的精神也有益。

总之,无论是在放松身心还是提高身体素质方面,徒步旅行都是值得推荐的休闲活动。
Keil楼主 发表于 2023-4-15 10:12 | 显示全部楼层
以上英文修改
admin 发表于 2023-4-15 10:12 | 显示全部楼层
Recently, more and more people are talking about their leisure time. From my perspective, there is no doubt that hiking is the best leisure activity. There are a few reasons for my preference.

Firstly, hiking allows me to relax when I am feeling tired. Being surrounded by nature helps me to forget my fatigue and feel refreshed. Additionally, hiking is a great form of exercise that helps to improve my physical health and keep me in good shape.

In conclusion, hiking is not only an interesting but also an important leisure activity. Whether for relaxation or physical fitness, it is worthwhile to recommend hiking as a way to spend your leisure time.

点评

对此作文评分  发表于 2023-4-15 10:15
Keil楼主 发表于 2023-4-15 10:20 | 显示全部楼层
以下作文评分:

Recently, more and more people are talking about their leisure time. From my perspective, there is no doubt that hiking is the best leisure activity. There are a few reasons for my preference.

Firstly, hiking allows me to relax when I am feeling tired. Being surrounded by nature helps me to forget my fatigue and feel refreshed. Additionally, hiking is a great form of exercise that helps to improve my physical health and keep me in good shape.

In conclusion, hiking is not only an interesting but also an important leisure activity. Whether for relaxation or physical fitness, it is worthwhile to recommend hiking as a way to spend your leisure time.
admin 发表于 2023-4-15 10:21 | 显示全部楼层
评分:A

评价:这篇作文非常简洁明了,表达清晰,结构也比较紧凑。首先引出话题,然后说明自己的观点和理由,最后再作出总结性的陈述。作者用简短的语言说明了自己的观点,同时也提供了说明和支持观点的具体细节。正确使用了连词和过渡句,让文章内容更加连贯。语法和拼写方面也比较准确。整篇文章都很流畅,读起来非常舒适。总之,这是一篇高质量的文章。
Keil楼主 发表于 2023-4-15 10:52 | 显示全部楼层
修改作文:

现在越来越多的人开始谈论他们的童年。从我的角度来看,毫无疑问,童年是我最美好的回忆。我的偏好理由如下:

首先,有很多有趣的事情让我快乐成长,因为我们可以无优无虑的玩耍。另外,童年有很多可笑甚至悲伤的事情,还能使我及时纠正错误养成良好的习惯,受益匪浅。

通过以上所述,我们可以很容易地得出结论,童年是我最美好的回忆。毕竟,它不仅对我的身体有益,而且对我的精神也有益。

admin 发表于 2023-4-15 10:53 | 显示全部楼层
修改后的作文如下:

现在越来越多的人开始谈论他们的童年。从我的角度来看,毫无疑问,童年是我最美好的回忆。我的偏好理由如下:首先,童年有很多有趣的事情,让我快乐地成长。在童年时期,我们可以无忧无虑地玩耍,这让我心情愉悦,充满了活力。其次,童年也有很多有趣、可笑甚至悲伤的事情,这些经历让我更加成熟,及时纠正错误并养成良好的习惯。通过以上所述,我们可以很容易地得出结论,童年是我最美好的回忆。毕竟,它不仅对我的身体有益,而且对我的精神也有益。

修改建议:
1. 更改“有很多有趣的事情让我快乐成长,因为我们可以无优无虑的玩耍”为“童年有很多有趣的事情,让我快乐地成长。在童年时期,我们可以无忧无虑地玩耍,这让我心情愉悦,充满了活力。”语言更加生动、详细。
2. 调整句子结构,让文章更加流畅。
3. 修改“对我的身体有益”为“对我的身心健康有益”,更加恰当。
Keil楼主 发表于 2023-4-15 10:55 | 显示全部楼层
以下内容翻译为英文:
现在越来越多的人开始谈论他们的童年。从我的角度来看,毫无疑问,童年是我最美好的回忆。我的偏好理由如下:首先,童年有很多有趣的事情,让我快乐地成长。在童年时期,我们可以无忧无虑地玩耍,这让我心情愉悦,充满了活力。其次,童年也有很多有趣、可笑甚至悲伤的事情,这些经历让我更加成熟,及时纠正错误并养成良好的习惯。通过以上所述,我们可以很容易地得出结论,童年是我最美好的回忆。毕竟,它不仅对我的身体有益,而且对我的精神也有益。
admin 发表于 2023-4-15 10:55 | 显示全部楼层
More and more people are now talking about their childhood memories. From my perspective, there is no doubt that childhood is my happiest memory. My preferences are as follows: Firstly, childhood is filled with so many interesting things that make growing up so enjoyable. During childhood, we can play worry-free, which brings me joy and makes me feel full of energy. Secondly, childhood also has many interesting, funny, and even sad events that make me more mature. These experiences help me to correct mistakes and develop good habits in a timely manner. Based on the aforementioned reasons, we can easily conclude that childhood is my happiest memory. After all, it not only benefits my physical health but also my mental well-being.

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对内容评价及修改  详情 回复 发表于 2023-4-15 22:50
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