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小鹿快跑 发表于 2023-4-10 15:30 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
                                                                                        My Favorite Hobby
Recetly,more and more people talking about favorite hobby.In daily life,I often joined hobbies like sing /dancing and paling basketball.From my perspective,the favorite hobby is paling basketball.The reasons why I believe so are listed as below .
The firest point that I want to mention is that paling basketball can get togeter of new friends,and that is because usually this game needs a lot of people with play.What is more, it is easier for us to underestand that paling basketball can make many benefits for us,which is because  paling basketball can exercise for body,so we have more than  healtier.
From what Imention above,we can easily come to the conclusion that paling basketball is a perfect hobby.Affter all,it makes new friends and have more healty.
admin 发表于 2023-4-10 15:31 | 显示全部楼层
批改如下:

My Favorite Hobby

Recently, more and more people are talking about their favorite hobbies. In daily life, I often participate in hobbies such as singing, dancing, and playing basketball. From my perspective, my favorite hobby is playing basketball. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.

The first point that I want to mention is that playing basketball can help me make new friends because this game usually requires a lot of people to play. Additionally, playing basketball can bring many benefits to our body, making us healthier.

From what I mentioned above, we can easily come to the conclusion that playing basketball is a perfect hobby. After all, it allows us to make new friends and become healthier.

修改建议:

1. “paling”应为“playing”;
2. 句子结构需要调整,以保证句子表达清晰、流畅;
3. 语法错误较多,需要注意语法规则。

改写如下:

我最喜欢的爱好

最近,越来越多的人在谈论他们的最爱爱好。在日常生活中,我经常参加一些爱好,比如唱歌、跳舞和打篮球。从我的角度来看,我最喜欢的爱好是打篮球。我认为这个爱好之所以受到我喜欢,有以下原因:

首先,打篮球可以让我交到新朋友,因为这个游戏通常需要很多人来玩。此外,打篮球还可以给我们的身体带来很多好处,让我们更加健康。

从我上面提到的原因,我们可以很容易地得出结论,打篮球是一个完美的爱好。毕竟,它可以让我们交到新朋友并变得更加健康。
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