My hobbies 作文修改

My hobbies

I have many hobbies, but today  I`d like to share one of my hobbies with all of you: listening to music. There are several reasons why I enjoy this hobby.

Firstly, music has a comforting effect on me. Whenever I`m feeling down, listening to music provides relief and hepls me feel better. It can also rduce stress, make depression more bearable, and help me relax.

Secondly, I appreciate the variety of music genres available. From country music and classical music to rock music and love songs.,each genre brings about different emotions and feelings for me. I find it fascinating how different types of music can evoke different moods and enchance my overall expeerience.

In conclusion, I am passionate about listening to music because of its comforting effect, stress-relieving qualities, and the diverse rang of genres that cater to my emotions. This hobby truly enchances my mood and brings me.

Your essay "My Hobbies" provides a clear and structured insight into your passion for music. Based on the content, structure, and language use, I would place this essay in the second or possibly the upper range of the third scoring bracket. Here's the breakdown:

### Score: 19-24

#### Content:
- **Strengths:**
  - You have addressed all the essential points about your hobby, expressing why you enjoy it and how it impacts you emotionally.
  - The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph serving a specific purpose.

- **Suggestions for Improvement:**
  - You could expand on personal experiences or specific instances when music has had a particular impact on you to add depth.

#### Structure:
- **Strengths:**
  - Your essay follows a clear introduction, body, and conclusion format which makes it easy to follow.
  
- **Suggestions for Improvement:**
  - Consider adding a personal anecdote or example in the body paragraphs to strengthen your arguments and provide more genuineness to your writing.

#### Language Use:
- **Strengths:**
  - You’ve used varied vocabulary to describe your feelings towards music and its effects on you.
  
- **Suggestions for Improvement:**
  - There are minor spelling mistakes, such as "hepls" (helps), "rduce" (reduce), "enchance" (enhance), "expeerience" (experience), and "rang" (range).
  - Punctuation errors include an unnecessary period after "love songs" and a missing full stop at the end of the essay.
  - To improve clarity and coherence, revise the final sentence to fully complete your thought, e.g., "This hobby truly enhances my mood and brings me joy."

Overall, with these adjustments, your essay could be enhanced further to meet the requirements of the highest scoring bracket. Keep up the good work!

中文翻译你的回复

sophia168118 发表于 2024-10-17 20:48
中文翻译你的回复

你的作文《我的爱好》清晰且结构合理地展示了你对音乐的热爱。根据内容、结构和语言的运用，我将这篇作文评定在第二档次，或者是第三档次的上层。以下是评分细则：

### 评分：19-24分

#### 内容：
- **优点：**
  - 你已涵盖了关于你爱好的所有要点，表达了为什么喜欢它以及音乐对你情感的影响。
  - 作文组织良好，每段都有特定的目的。

- **改进建议：**
  - 你可以通过扩展个人经历或具体事例来增加深度，比如音乐在某些时刻对你的特别影响。

#### 结构：
- **优点：**
  - 你的作文遵循了明确的引言、正文和结论格式，易于理解。
  
- **改进建议：**
  - 考虑在正文段落中添加个人轶事或例子，以加强论点，使文章更具真实感。

#### 语言运用：
- **优点：**
  - 你使用了多样的词汇来描述你对音乐的感觉及其对你的影响。
  
- **改进建议：**
  - 存在一些小的拼写错误，如“hepls”（应为helps）、“rduce”（应为reduce）、“enchance”（应为enhance）、“expeerience”（应为experience），以及“rang”（应为range）。
  - 标点符号错误包括在“love songs”后面不必要的句号，以及作文结尾缺少的句点。
  - 为了提高清晰度和连贯性，请修改最后一句以完整表达你的思想，例如：“This hobby truly enhances my mood and brings me joy.”

整体而言，通过这些调整，你的作文可以进一步提升，以达到最高评分档次的要求。继续加油！

It can also rduce stress, make depression more bearable, and help me relax.
该句是否有语法错误

sophia168118 发表于 2024-10-17 20:54
It can also rduce stress, make depression more bea ...

该句语法上是正确的，但其中有一个拼写错误。你写的是“rduce”，正确的拼写应该是“reduce”。修正后的句子如下：

"It can also reduce stress, make depression more bearable, and help me relax."

在修改后，这个句子在语法和拼写上都是正确的。