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黄金城SA 发表于 2024-9-27 16:54 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Dear Mike,
      How are you?I am glad to heard you will come to my hometown tour,so I am writing to tell you some about my hometown questions.There are the questions.
      First of all,I would like to you know my hometown have many rains and winds,so I hope you need bring a bit clothes,and avoid have a cold.In addition,I also hope you need bring some eat things,because there are not have store,and I very happiness you will come to my hometown tour,looking forward to you early replay.
      as a result,I hope you family healthy and happiness.I am looking forward to meeting you.


                                                                                                                                            yours like

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王艳 发表于 2024-9-27 16:54 | 显示全部楼层
### 评分和建议

这篇作文给人的总体印象是内容要点基本涵盖,但语言运用存在较多错误,词汇和语法结构不够准确,部分句子表达含糊不清。根据评分标准,这篇作文大致符合第四档(7-12分)的要求。

**评分:10分**

### 不足及批改建议

1. **结构和内容:**
   - 开头和结尾格式欠妥,应使用适当的问候及署名。
   - 内容要点提到了一些关于家乡的信息,但未能清晰表达。

2. **语法和词汇:**
   - 句子结构不完整,语法错误较多。
   - 词汇使用不准确,有些句子不通顺。

**详细批改建议:**

1. **开头部分:**
   - 原文:`How are you?I am glad to heard you will come to my hometown tour,so I am writing to tell you some about my hometown questions.There are the questions.`
   - 修改:`How are you? I am glad to hear that you will come to visit my hometown, so I am writing to tell you some important information about it. Here are the details:`

2. **内容部分:**
   - 原文:`First of all,I would like to you know my hometown have many rains and winds,so I hope you need bring a bit clothes,and avoid have a cold.In addition,I also hope you need bring some eat things,because there are not have store,and I very happiness you will come to my hometown tour,looking forward to you early replay.`
   - 修改:`First of all, I would like you to know that my hometown experiences a lot of rain and wind, so please bring some warm clothing to avoid catching a cold. In addition, I suggest you bring some food supplies, as there are no stores nearby. I am very happy that you will be visiting my hometown and look forward to your early reply.`

3. **结尾部分:**
   - 原文:`as a result,I hope you family healthy and happiness.I am looking forward to meeting you.`
   - 修改:`Finally, I wish your family health and happiness. I am looking forward to meeting you soon.`

4. **签名部分:**
   - 原文:`yours like`
   - 修改:`Yours sincerely, [Your Name]`

### 修改后的完整版本

  1. Dear Mike,

  2. How are you? I am glad to hear that you will come to visit my hometown, so I am writing to tell you some important information about it. Here are the details:

  3. First of all, I would like you to know that my hometown experiences a lot of rain and wind, so please bring some warm clothing to avoid catching a cold. In addition, I suggest you bring some food supplies, as there are no stores nearby. I am very happy that you will be visiting my hometown and look forward to your early reply.

  4. Finally, I wish your family health and happiness. I am looking forward to meeting you soon.

  5. Yours sincerely,
  6. [Your Name]
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通过这些修改,文章的表达会更为清晰、准确,语法和词汇运用也会显得更加自然。
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