设为首页收藏本站今日发布APP下载 温馨提醒您:今天是2025年06月16日,距离2025年10月统考还有

厦门撷墨官网

 找回密码
 新学员注册

QQ登录

只需一步,快速开始

微信登录

微信扫码,快速开始

搜索

Online Shopping

  [复制链接]
3264 |1
夏天 发表于 2024-9-27 16:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Nowadays,more and more people are talking about their are buying something on the online shopping,I agree their doing and hold their buy something on online shopping.
The reasons are as follows:
First of all,sometime people has not time buying their are want and need ting to story,What's more,their are buy something online shopping,it not only share many thing give some people but also many thing is not expensive.The last not the least,their need only a littly money,bring give their many happiness.so it not only bring happiness to somepeople,but also helps someone save many money.
王艳 发表于 2024-9-27 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
这篇作文题目是关于网上购物的讨论。根据评分标准,我将从内容、篇章结构和语言运用三个方面进行评价。

首先,这篇文章的总得分应为12分,属于第四档:

**内容**
- 文章提及了关键的内容要点,例如时间管理、分享和节约成本,但没有清楚地表达这些要点。
- 文章中存在一些不明确的地方,影响了理解,例如“share many thing give some people”。

**篇章结构**
- 文章有一定的结构,但逻辑和连贯性较差,使得读者难以完全理解作者的观点。例如,“First of all,sometime people has not time buying their are want and need ting to story”这句话结构混乱。

**语言运用**
- 语法错误很多,例如时态、主谓一致等问题。
- 拼写错误明显,例如“littly”应为“little”,“their”应为“they”等。
- 词汇使用单调且部分词汇不恰当。

### 建议:
1. **语法和拼写**:
   - 注意主谓一致,如“people has”应改为“people have”。
   - 注意动词形式,如“sometime people has not time buying their are want”应改为“sometimes people do not have time to buy what they want and need”。

2. **词汇选择和表达**:
   - 改正拼写错误,如“littly”应改为“little”,“somepeople”应改为“some people”。
   - 使用更恰当的表达,如“share many thing give some people”可以改为“share many things with others”。

3. **连贯和逻辑**:
   - 增加过渡词,使文章逻辑更加清晰。例如,在各个理由之间加入适当的连接词。
   - 每个段落的句子需要更加连贯,如“What's more,their are buy something online shopping,it not only share many thing give some people but also many thing is not expensive”可以改为“What's more, when people buy something online, they can share many things with others and find cheaper options.”

4. **内容详细化**:
   - 更详细地解释每个理由。例如,可以具体说明网上购物如何节省时间和金钱。

### 修改后的文本:
  1. Online Shopping
  2. Nowadays, more and more people are buying things through online shopping. I agree with their approach and support them in buying products online.

  3. The reasons are as follows:
  4. First of all, sometimes people do not have the time to go to physical stores to buy what they want and need. What's more, buying things online not only allows people to share many items with others but also find products that are not expensive. Last but not least, online shopping only requires a little money and brings a lot of happiness. Therefore, it not only brings joy to some people but also helps others save a lot of money.
复制代码

通过这些修改,文章中的主要观点得到了更清晰的表达,并且语言运用更加准确和恰当。
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 新学员注册

本版积分规则

考前冲刺
重要公告

同学,你好

      近期学习安排

      (1)第一轮辅导资料包在个人学习系统-【资料更新】下载

      (2)每日学习安排详见学习计划表

      (3)个人学习系统唯一网址:www.xiemo.vip,建议电脑端登陆学习

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表