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1901 |1
zikao202410 发表于 2024-9-22 12:02 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
The Important Ways to Success
Ladies and gentlemen,
      Good afternoon! Today, I'm here to talk about the importent ways to siccess.
      Success, for many, is defined as achieving one's goals and fulfilling one's dreams. It can be measured by professional achievements, personal growth, or the ability to make a positive impact on others.
      To achieve success, one must first set clear and achievable goals. Knowing what you want to accomplish provides direction and motivation.   
Secondly, hard work and perseverance are essential, Success rarely comes without effort and dedication. Additionally,learning from failures and being open to feedback helps in improving and refining your approach. Building a strong network of support and continunously upgrading your skills also play a crucial role.
       In summary, success is a journey that requires determination, hard work, and constant self-improvement.
      Thank you for your attention.
王艳 发表于 2024-9-22 12:03 | 显示全部楼层
**评分与评语**

### 综合评分:21分(第二档)

### 评语:
这篇演讲稿清楚地表达了成功的主要要点,完成了试题规定的任务,使用的语法结构和词汇基本满足要求,但存在一些小错误,不太影响理解。内容简洁明了,但某些语法和拼写错误需要注意。

### 批改建议:

1. **拼写错误:**
   - “importent” 应改为 “important”
   - “siccess” 应改为 “success”

2. **句子结构及标点:**
   - 第一个段落末尾的句号应为冒号,以引出下面的内容:“Today, I'm here to talk about the important ways to success:”
   
3. **语法与表达:**
   - “Secondly, hard work and perseverance are essential, Success rarely comes without effort and dedication.” 这里的“Success”应改为小写,同时可以将两个句子合并:“Secondly, hard work and perseverance are essential; success rarely comes without effort and dedication.”
   - “Additionally,learning from failures and being open to feedback helps in improving and refining your approach.” “Additionally”后面需要空格,并且句子可以更流畅一些:“Additionally, learning from failures and being open to feedback helps in improving and refining one's approach.”
   - “Building a strong network of support and continunously upgrading your skills also play a crucial role.” 这里的“continunously”应改为“continuously”,以及动词的单复数需一致,改为:“Building a strong network of support and continuously upgrading your skills also plays a crucial role.”

4. **进一步拓展内容:**
   - 尽管文章达到了基本要求,但可以增加一些具体的例子或个人经历来加强说服力和吸引力。例如,可以举出某个成功人士的故事,说明如何通过设定目标、努力工作和不断提升自己取得成功。

**修订后的版本:**

---

The Important Ways to Success

Ladies and gentlemen,

Good afternoon! Today, I'm here to talk about the important ways to success.

Success, for many, is defined as achieving one's goals and fulfilling one's dreams. It can be measured by professional achievements, personal growth, or the ability to make a positive impact on others.

To achieve success, one must first set clear and achievable goals. Knowing what you want to accomplish provides direction and motivation.

Secondly, hard work and perseverance are essential; success rarely comes without effort and dedication. Additionally, learning from failures and being open to feedback helps in improving and refining one's approach. Building a strong network of support and continuously upgrading your skills also play a crucial role.

In summary, success is a journey that requires determination, hard work, and constant self-improvement.

Thank you for your attention.

---

希望这些建议能帮助你改进演讲稿,使其更加出色!
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