Online Shopping

Online shopping has become more and more very popular in our daily life.Nowadays many people choose online shopping improve themselves lifestyle.You can learn something on the internet as well as on the book,etc.
    I am interested in online shopping and I really enjoy it.Because it brings us a lot of happiness.For example,it not only helps us improve our quality of life but also brings us a lot of convenience.what's more,it makes our life very meaningful.In addition,we can buy different kinds of things online,and it can allows our choose things ourselves like,so I find it is very much.
    So campared to other matholds,I perfer it.

### 评分档次

根据评分标准，我认为这篇作文属于第三档（13-18分），因为它基本完成了试题规定的任务，但存在一些语言错误。

### 评分分析

1. **内容要点**: 作文提及了在线购物的普及、便利性以及对生活质量的提升等关键内容要点，虽未能详尽展开，但基本符合要求。
2. **篇章结构**: 作文分段清晰，有基本的结构和逻辑，但句子之间的衔接不够流畅。
3. **语言运用**: 存在多处语法和词汇错误，影响了理解。虽然错误较多，但大部分意思可以理解。

### 批改建议

1. **拼写和标点**：
   - "very popular in our daily life"中的"very"是多余的，可以去掉。
   - "improve themselves lifestyle" 应该改为 "improve their lifestyle"。
   - 在"for example"前应该使用逗号，并在"example,"之后加一个空格。
   - "So campared to other matholds,I perfer it"应改为"So compared to other methods, I prefer it."

2. **语法和句子结构**:
   - 第一段中，"You can learn something on the internet as well as on the book, etc." 缺乏相关性，应改为“Online shopping enables you to browse and compare products conveniently.”
   - 第二段中，"it not only helps us improve our quality of life but also brings us a lot of convenience. what's more,it makes our life very meaningful."应改为"It not only helps us improve our quality of life but also brings us a lot of convenience. What's more, it makes our life very meaningful."
   - "it can allows our choose things ourselves like,"应改为"it allows us to choose things we like by ourselves."

3. **词汇选择**：
   - 尽量避免使用“very much”这样的泛词，替换为更具体的描述，如“a great deal”。
   - 将“matholds”改为“methods”，“perfer”为“prefer”。

4. **表达和连贯性**：
   - 连接词的使用不足，建议增加连接词以提高段落间的连贯性。
   - 可以扩展一些例子或者个人体验来支持观点，使文章更加丰富和有说服力。

### 修改后的作文示例

**Online Shopping**

Online shopping has become increasingly popular in our daily lives. Nowadays, many people choose online shopping to improve their lifestyles. Online shopping enables you to browse and compare products conveniently.

I am interested in online shopping and I really enjoy it because it brings us a lot of happiness. For example, it not only helps us improve our quality of life but also brings us a lot of convenience. What's more, it makes our life very meaningful. In addition, we can buy different kinds of things online, and it allows us to choose things we like by ourselves, which I find very enjoyable.

Therefore, compared to other methods, I prefer online shopping.

### 最终得分：17分