email

Dear Tom

How are you?I am writeing this E-mail that tell you then I have making many volunteer,such,teaching children,clear house and help some old age to writing letter send their boy.but I perfer volunteer is teaching my children.the reasons are as follows:

Firstly,teach my children some words can helps their understand this world,tell they words main can helps know some things.it not noly bring take their happiness but also bring take me interesting,so ,I love their very much

Next,I think if you have arrive this little city,seeing some children,I think you will can love it.this is very beautiful and friendly.

I hope you free time ,you will come this,I wait you.

Best Wishes

Li Ke

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

### 评分：

根据所写的内容、语言运用和表达的准确性，这篇作文应属于**第五档（1-6分）**，得分为**5分**。这是因为：

1. **内容要点遗漏或表达不清楚**：
   - 虽然提到了志愿活动，但具体内容和细节不够清晰。
   
2. **语法结构和词汇极单调**：
   - 全文中存在大量的语法错误和拼写错误。
   
3. **语言错误很多**，严重影响理解：
   - 大量错误让读者难以理解作者想表达的实际内容。

### 不足之处：

1. **拼写错误**：
   - "writeing" 应拼作 "writing"。
   - "clear house" 应表述为 "cleaning houses" 或 "cleaning the house"。

2. **语法错误**：
   - "I am writeing this E-mail that tell you then I have making many volunteer,such,teaching children,clear house and help some old age to writing letter send their boy." 这句话应该改为 "I am writing this email to tell you that I have been doing many volunteer activities, such as teaching children, cleaning houses, and helping elderly people write letters to their children."
   - "perfer" 应为 "prefer"。
   - "teach my children" 应改为 "teaching children"。
   - "tell they words main can helps know some things" 表达不清，应改为 "telling them words can help them understand things."

3. **标点符号和句子结构**：
   - 使用标点符号时需注意空格，如 "Dear TomHow are you?" 应改为 "Dear Tom, How are you?"
   - 段落缺乏逻辑连接，建议使用过渡词以增强连贯性。

4. **细节和清晰度**：
   - 对志愿活动缺乏具体描述，可适当增加一些细节。
   - 例如，“seeing some children” 可以进一步描述这些孩子在做什么，使情景更生动。

### 修改建议：

Dear Tom,

How are you? I am writing this email to tell you about the volunteer activities I have been involved in, such as teaching children, cleaning houses, and helping elderly people write letters to their children. Among these activities, I prefer teaching children. The reasons are as follows:

Firstly, teaching children new words can help them understand the world better. It not only brings them happiness but also interests me a lot. I love working with them very much.

Next, I think if you visit this small city and see the children here, you will love it too. This place is beautiful and friendly. I hope you will come when you have free time. I look forward to seeing you.

Best wishes,
Li Ke