Green Transportation

Green Transportation
Recently,more and more people talking about green transportation,different people have different choices,green transportation cans say with confidence that help envoruiment  better than others transportation.
So,I live green transportation that when I go to school,as for me ,when I go out the house,I can choices by bicycle,bus and going walk.but I often radi bicycle than others.the because as follows:
The fisthly,by bicycle help streng body and clear air,bring healthy body to me.my mother tell me "own have a good body ,is very better than others"The cescondly,when I was little,I don't know how is green transportation.my father tell me ,by bicycle,bus and walk,such is green transportation.It not noly bring healthy bodies but also clear air.In conclusion,I like green transportation very much.
请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
• 语言运用较为准确、恰当
  

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

• 清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
• 运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
• 语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解
  

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

• 提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
• 运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
• 存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解
  

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

• 遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇单调。
• 语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解
  

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

• 明显遗漏内容要点
• 语法结构和词汇极单调
• 语言错误很多，严重影响理解
  

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

### Score: 7-12 (第四档)

### Feedback and Suggestions:

1. **内容表达不清晰**:
   - Though the essay tries to discuss green transportation, it lacks clarity in expressing its ideas. Key points are either vaguely mentioned or not well-developed.

2. **语法结构和词汇单调**:
   - The essay exhibits limited vocabulary and repetitive sentence structures. Incorrect usage of words and phrases also diminishes the overall quality.

3. **语言错误较多**:
   - Numerous grammatical errors are present, including subject-verb agreement, spelling mistakes, and incorrect word choices. These significantly affect reader comprehension.

4. **拼写和标点**:
   - Several spelling errors like "envoruiment" (environment), "radi" (ride), "fisthly" (firstly), "cescondly" (secondly), and "noly" (not only).
   - Incorrect use of punctuation adds to the confusion in understanding the text.

### Recommendations for Improvement:

1. **内容清晰度**:
   - Clearly outline your main points before writing. For example, start by defining what green transportation is, then explain why it is beneficial, and finally share personal experiences or preferences.

2. **丰富词汇量和语法结构**:
   - Use a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. For example, instead of "by bicycle help streng body and clear air", you could write "Riding a bicycle strengthens the body and helps to clean the air".

3. **减少语言错误**:
   - Proofread your essay to catch grammatical errors. You can also use grammar-checking tools or ask someone else to review your work.

4. **正确拼写和标点**:
   - Be mindful of spelling and punctuation. Make sure to use periods and commas correctly to separate ideas and improve readability.

### Revised Version:

**Green Transportation**

Recently, more and more people are talking about green transportation. Different individuals have different choices, but green transportation can confidently say it helps the environment better than other modes of transport.

For me, I use green transportation when I go to school. When I leave the house, I can choose between riding a bicycle, taking a bus, or walking. However, I often ride my bicycle more than the others, and the reasons are as follows:

Firstly, riding a bicycle helps strengthen my body and clear the air, bringing health benefits to me. My mother always tells me, "Having a good body is better than many other things." Secondly, when I was little, I didn’t know what green transportation was. My father explained that riding a bicycle, taking a bus, and walking are all examples of green transportation. It not only brings healthy bodies but also cleans the air.

In conclusion, I like green transportation very much.