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I Like Playing Sports

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admin 发表于 2024-8-12 21:14 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

I have many sports such ping-pong ,football and basketball sports,however,my refer sports is basketball.the reasons as following:
firstly,when i was little boy,I can not eating good food,my father take me playing basketball,soon,I feel want to eat many food,it helps me to eating many food.
cesondly,by palying basketball,it helps give me a healthy body,what is more,playing basketball bring happyness to my family.
as for me,playing basketball with my family,it is not only interest but also give my family bring happyness.so I like playing sports is basketball.

陶果果 发表于 2024-8-12 21:14 | 显示全部楼层
### 评分档次与评价

**第四档:7-12分**  

### 内容要点和篇章结构
这篇作文部分完成了试题规定的任务,有明显遗漏和表达不清楚的要点。文章虽然提到了篮球是作者喜欢的运动,并且给出了两个原因,但没有充分展开和详细说明。篇章结构较为混乱,缺乏明显的段落分隔和逻辑连贯性。

### 语言运用
语法结构和词汇较为单调,存在不少语言错误。这些错误有些严重影响理解,比如以下几处:
- "I have many sports such ping-pong ,football and basketball sports" 应该改为 "I like many sports such as ping-pong, football, and basketball."
- "my refer sports is basketball" 应改为 "my favorite sport is basketball."
- "the reasons as following" 应改为 "The reasons are as follows:"
- "firstly,when i was little boy,I can not eating good food" 应该改为 "Firstly, when I was a little boy, I could not eat well."
- "it helps me to eating many food" 应该改为 "it helped me to eat more food."
- "cesondly,by palying basketball" 应该改为 "Secondly, by playing basketball"
- "bring happyness to my family" 应该改为 "brings happiness to my family."
- "as for me,playing basketball with my family,it is not only interest but also give my family bring happyness." 应改为 "As for me, playing basketball with my family is not only interesting but also brings happiness to my family."

### 综合评价
总体来看,这篇作文完成了一部分试题要求,但仍需在内容展开、篇章结构以及语言准确性方面进行很大改进。建议多增加一些明确的表达和详细的叙述,特别是准确使用语法和词汇,以提高文章的可读性和连贯性。
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