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请老师批改作文并打分,谢谢!

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幸运小七 发表于 2024-7-7 17:32 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
                                                     I like Watching Movies at Home
     It’s well known that watching movies is very popular and trendy in our lives. Some people want to watch movies at their home , some people like watching movies in a cinema . As for me , I love watching movies at home, here are the reasons.
      First and foremost , watching movies at home can save money for me , because going to cinema is expensive .  What’s more , watching movies at home is very convenient , if i watching movies at home , i am free to do many other things at the same time . Last but not least , Watching movies at home can save a lot of trouble , i can enjoy much freedom.
      As a result , i prefer watching movies at home.
admin 发表于 2024-7-7 17:32 | 显示全部楼层
当然,我很高兴为你批改作文并给出评分。以下是你的作文的修改建议和评分:

---

### Revised Version

**I like Watching Movies at Home**

It's well known that watching movies is very popular and trendy in our lives. Some people prefer to watch movies at home, while others enjoy watching movies in a cinema. As for me, I love watching movies at home, and here are the reasons why.

First and foremost, watching movies at home can save money, as going to the cinema is expensive. What's more, watching movies at home is very convenient. If I watch movies at home, I am free to do many other things at the same time. Last but not least, watching movies at home can save a lot of trouble and allow me to enjoy much more freedom.

As a result, I prefer watching movies at home.

---

### Suggestions and Corrections

1. **Grammar and Punctuation**:
   - Use "It's" instead of "It’s" (correcting typographic consistency).
   - Remove the space before commas and periods.
   - Capitalize "I" consistently.
   - Ensure proper usage of punctuation within sentences.

2. **Content and Clarity**:
   - Added "why" at the end of the first paragraph to clarify the upcoming reasons.
   - Slight rephrasing for smoother transitions and readability.

3. **Cohesion and Flow**:
   - Improved sentence structure for better flow and coherence.

### Score

**Content: 8/10**
- The content is relevant and clearly expresses your preference for watching movies at home. However, adding more specific examples or personal experiences could make your argument stronger.

**Organization: 8/10**
- The essay is organized logically, presenting reasons one by one. However, each reason could be expanded slightly for a more detailed argument.

**Language Use: 7/10**
- While the language used is mostly correct and clear, there were a few grammatical errors and inconsistencies in capitalization and punctuation.

**Overall Score: 7.7/10**

Good job! With a bit more attention to detail and expanding your reasons, your essay will be even better. Keep up the good work!
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