批改作文并在原有基础上修正语法及句子错误并改成一档...

Recently, more and more people are talking about protect animals. From my perspective, it is undoubted that protect animals  is extremelyimportant. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.

The first point that I want to mentions is that  protectinganimals can provide economic opportunities ，and that is because protectinganimals can develop tourism and promote scientific research .

What is more ,it is easier for us to understand that protecting animals helps to protect human cultural heritage ,whichis because protecting animals can inherit traditional culture。

Last butnot least,we have to admit that protecting animals helps to protect naturalresources. The reason behind this is animals can maintain ecologicalbalance.

From what a mention above, we can easily cometo the conclision that animalsneed protection, Earth is thehome of human animals and plants. After all, animals can help people Create a better future.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

Recently, more and more people are talking about protecting animals. From my perspective, it is undoubted that protecting animals is extremely important. The reasons why I believe so are listed below.

The first point that I want to mention is that protecting animals can provide economic opportunities because it can develop tourism and promote scientific research. Furthermore, it is easy to understand that protecting animals helps to preserve human cultural heritage. This is because protecting animals can help to preserve traditional culture. Last but not least, we have to admit that protecting animals also helps to preserve natural resources. The reason behind this is that animals play a crucial role in maintaining ecological balance.

From what I mentioned above, we can easily come to the conclusion that animals need protection. Earth is the home of humans, animals, and plants. After all, animals can help people create a better future.

评分：第二档 19-24分

总体印象：
这篇文章整体上表达清楚，内容基本完整。语言运用大部分正确，有少量错误但并不影响理解。

优点：
1. 作文结构清晰，包括引言、论据和结论。
2. 适当使用了一些连接词和短语来组织句子和段落。
3. 概念清晰，观点明确。

不足：
1. 较多的语法错误，包括动词时态和主谓一致等。
2. 文章中使用的一些词汇不够准确或不够恰当。

建议改进：
1. 在写作前先进行一遍大致的语法检查，尽量避免简单的语法错误。
2. 在使用词汇时，可以查阅词典或者进行同义词替换，以确保使用的词汇准确恰当。