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4042 |1
bjyanglin 发表于 2023-10-25 12:50 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式



                                                                                                       Exercise Every Day
    Recently, more and more people are talking about Exercise Every Day. From my perspective, it is totally undoubted that exercise is important for the body .The reason why I believe so are listed as below.
The first point that I want to mention is that exercise can bring us benefits, and that is because it not only strengthen body, enhance heart function, enhance immune system function, improve blood circulation but also make me spirit.I like basketball, I usually spend two hours playing it. What is more, it is easier for us to understand that it helps us lose weight, which is because it can help burn calories, increase energy consumption, and control weight.
    From what I mention above, we can easily come to the conclusion that exercise is important for the body. After all, exercise can bring us benefits and help us lose weight.

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分,并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分,按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分,而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时,先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次,然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数,最后给分应避免分数趋中现象,即不能只给中间档次的分数,该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分),该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时,应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑,英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认,以致影响交际,或字数明显少于要求,将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分:圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分:完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确,虽有小错,但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分:基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误,但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分:完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多,部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分:未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多,严重影响理解

0分:所传达的信息或所用语言太少,无法评价;所写内容与题目要求完全无关

王艳 发表于 2023-10-25 12:51 | 显示全部楼层
Exercise Every Day

Recently, more and more people are talking about the importance of exercising every day. From my perspective, there is no doubt that exercise is crucial for maintaining a healthy body. I would like to present several reasons to support my argument.

Firstly, regular exercise brings numerous benefits to our body. It not only strengthens our muscles, but also enhances heart function, immune system function, and blood circulation. Personally, I enjoy playing basketball for around two hours each day. This physical activity not only makes me feel refreshed, but also helps me maintain a healthy weight. Exercise can burn calories, increase energy consumption, and control weight.

Moreover, exercise plays an important role in improving our mental well-being. Engaging in physical activities stimulates the release of endorphins, also known as "feel-good" hormones, which can boost our mood and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. Regular exercise can also improve our sleep quality, resulting in better overall mental health.

In conclusion, exercise is undeniably important for our body. It brings us various benefits and helps us maintain a healthy weight. Furthermore, exercise contributes to our mental well-being by boosting our mood and reducing stress levels. Therefore, we should make an effort to incorporate exercise into our daily routine.

评分:
总体印象:第二档 19-24分
附加说明:
1. 题目要求:作文完成了题目规定的任务,明确表达了“每天都要锻炼”的重要性;
2. 内容要点:文章提到了锻炼对身体和心理健康的多方面好处,如增强肌肉、加强心脏功能、增强免疫系统功能、改善血液循环、减肥等,并举了打篮球的例子进行说明;
3. 篇章结构:文章以总述引入,分别阐述了锻炼对身体和心理健康的好处,并在结尾进行总结;
4. 语言运用:语法结构和词汇基本满足任务要求,句子表达清晰,虽存在一些语言错误,但不影响理解。

不足之处:
1. 文章中存在一些语言错误,如动词时态和主谓一致等方面;
2. 段落之间缺乏过渡句,导致结构稍显松散。

建议改进:
1. 在写作过程中,要注意语言的准确性和连贯性,特别是动词时态和主谓一致的问题,可以通过复习语法知识来提升语言水平;
2. 每段之间加入过渡句,以提高段落之间的衔接和连贯性,使文章结构更加紧凑。

Overall, the essay provides a clear argument about the importance of exercising every day. With some improvements in language accuracy and paragraph organization, the essay can be further enhanced. Keep up the good work!
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