作文批改并评分

The Earth is our mother and our home, which we rely on for survival. As our living standards improve, the environment is being unknowingly destroyed. But we need the fresh air and clean water.

Recently, more and more people are talking about how to protect the environment. From my perspective, it is undoubtedly true that protecting the environment is everyone's responsibility. The things that I think need to be done are as follows.

The first point I want to mention is that low-carbon travel can reduce air pollution. We can drive less, walk more, or ride bicycles, as low-carbon travel can provide us with fresh air and keep us healthy in the future. Furthermore, it's easy for us to understand that conserving water can protect water resources, as the water on Earth is quite limited and water is the source of life.

Based on the above points , we can easily come to the conclusion that protecting the environment is everyone's responsibility. Therefore, we should take action to protect our environment. We can maintain low-carbon travel, plant more trees for the environment, and so on.

Overall, this essay discusses the importance of protecting the environment and presents two ways to do so: practicing low-carbon travel and conserving water.

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, and the ideas are supported with examples and explanations.

However, there are some areas that need improvement. Firstly, the introduction could be stronger by providing more background information or statistics to grab the reader's attention. Additionally, the essay lacks transitions between paragraphs, making it difficult to follow the flow of ideas. Using transition words or phrases would make the essay more coherent.

In terms of language use, the essay is generally clear and concise. However, there are a few grammar errors, such as missing articles (e.g., "the environment is being unknowingly destroyed" should be "the environment is being unknowingly destroyed") and incorrect verb forms (e.g., "we can drive less, walk more, or ride bicycles").

In terms of content, the essay provides valid suggestions for protecting the environment, emphasizing the importance of low-carbon travel and water conservation. However, it could benefit from expanding the discussion to include other environmental issues and solutions.

Considering all these factors, I would give this essay a score of 7 out of 10. With some improvements in the introduction, transitions, grammar, and content, it has the potential to score higher.