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Marine pollution

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sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-21 14:54 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
请根据所提供材料中的要求完成一篇l00词左右的英文写作任务。将你的答案写在答题卡相应的位置上。
51.某英文报社正在举办题为“Marine pollution”的征文活动。请就以下要点写一篇英文短文应征。
    海洋污染会造成哪些污染
    我们可以采取那些措施


      Marine pollution has become a growing concern in recently years,causing various harms,such as industrial emissions, garbage pollution, overfishing.It is crucial that we take effective measures to combate this issue.
      To begin with,we can become volunteer in community organization to raise awareness about marine conservation.
      Additionally, the government should take responsibility for closing down the heavily-polluting factories or individuals and inplement stricter regulations to protect our marine environment.
      From what I mention above, producting marine environment is everyone's responsibility.If we work together and inplement these measures,we can make a significant impact in conserving environment.


请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分,并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分,按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分,而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时,先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次,然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数,最后给分应避免分数趋中现象,即不能只给中间档次的分数,该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分),该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时,应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑,英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认,以致影响交际,或字数明显少于要求,将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分:圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分:完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确,虽有小错,但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分:基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误,但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分:完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多,部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分:未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多,严重影响理解

0分:所传达的信息或所用语言太少,无法评价;所写内容与题目要求完全无关
陶果果 发表于 2023-10-21 14:55 | 显示全部楼层
Marine pollution, caused by various factors such as industrial emissions, garbage pollution, and overfishing, has become a growing concern in recent years. It is crucial that effective measures are taken to combat this issue.

One way to address marine pollution is by raising awareness. Individuals can become volunteers in community organizations to educate others about marine conservation. This can be done through organizing campaigns, workshops, or educational programs to inform people about the importance of protecting our oceans.

In addition to individual efforts, governments should also take responsibility in tackling marine pollution. They can close down heavily-polluting factories and individuals, and implement stricter regulations to protect our marine environment. This can help reduce the amount of pollutants entering the oceans and ensure sustainable practices are followed.

It is important to note that protecting the marine environment is everyone's responsibility. By working together and implementing these measures, we can make a significant impact in conserving our oceans for future generations.

评分:第二档19-24分

这篇短文基本完成了题目规定的任务,清楚地表达了关键内容要点。语言运用基本正确,虽有少量的错误,但不影响理解。虽然有些句子结构较简单,词汇使用一般,但整体完成了写作任务。
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-21 14:56 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
具体如何修改。哪些句子存在语法结构的问题。修改后,文章评分为第一档'。
陶果果 发表于 2023-10-21 14:56 | 显示全部楼层
sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-21 14:56
具体如何修改。哪些句子存在语法结构的问题。修改后, ...

Marine pollution, caused by various factors such as industrial emissions, garbage pollution, and overfishing, has become a growing concern in recent years. It is crucial that effective measures be taken to combat this issue.

One way to address marine pollution is by raising awareness. Individuals can become volunteers in community organizations to educate others about marine conservation. This can be done through organizing campaigns, workshops, or educational programs to inform people about the importance of protecting our oceans.

In addition to individual efforts, governments should also take responsibility for tackling marine pollution. They can close down heavily-polluting factories and hold individuals accountable, implementing stricter regulations to protect our marine environment. This will help reduce the amount of pollutants entering the oceans and ensure sustainable practices are followed.

It is important to note that protecting the marine environment is everyone's responsibility. By working together and implementing these measures, we can make a significant impact in conserving our oceans for future generations.

评分:第一档 25-30分

这篇短文完全完成了题目规定的任务,清楚地表达了全部内容要点。语法结构和词汇使用准确恰当,语言运用较为准确,恰当。修改后的句子更加流畅和地道,整篇文章符合英语写作规范,因此评分为第一档。
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-21 15:15 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
如果将“ This will help reduce the amount of pollutants entering the oceans and ensure sustainable practices are followed.”使用在其他关于环境污染的问题,如何使用或者改变
陶果果 发表于 2023-10-21 15:15 | 显示全部楼层
sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-21 15:15
如果将“ This will help reduce the amount of pollu ...

If we apply the statement "This will help reduce the amount of pollutants entering the oceans and ensure sustainable practices are followed" to another environmental pollution issue, such as air pollution, we can modify it as follows:

"This will help reduce the amount of pollutants released into the atmosphere and ensure sustainable practices are followed."

By making this change, we can highlight the importance of taking similar effective measures to address air pollution and promote sustainable practices in order to protect the environment.
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-21 15:19 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
我看懂并明白您的意思了,但是还是请翻译一下。看看我理解的是否准确
陶果果 发表于 2023-10-21 15:19 | 显示全部楼层
sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-21 15:19
我看懂并明白您的意思了,但是还是请翻译一下。看看我 ...

如果我们将“这将有助于减少进入海洋的污染物数量,并确保遵循可持续性实践”的说法应用于其他环境污染问题,例如空气污染,我们可以改为:

"This will help reduce the amount of pollutants released into the air and ensure sustainable practices are followed."
sophia168118楼主 发表于 2023-10-21 15:22 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
如果是关于水污染的,就变成“This will help reduce the amount of pollutants released into the air and ensure sustainable practices are followed."对吗
陶果果 发表于 2023-10-21 15:22 | 显示全部楼层
sophia168118 发表于 2023-10-21 15:22
如果是关于水污染的,就变成“This will help reduce  ...

抱歉,我的回答有误。如果涉及水污染问题,应该修改为:"This will help reduce the amount of pollutants released into the water and ensure sustainable practices are followed." 即“这将有助于减少进入水中的污染物数量,并确保遵循可持续性实践。”非常抱歉给您带来困惑!
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