作文批改

    Dear Tom,

    This is Li Ke from Beijing. The reason that I am writing to you is because I am looking for a teaching job. Besides that, here goes another thing that i think is important, which is that  I think I will be a good teacher.

    I believe you should know this at the very end of my letter,  If I become a teacher，I will work hard to teach my students.I will work with children. I love children very much，so I will be happy every day. I will also be able to work outside sometimes.but I will work hard every day，sometimes I will be tired.I can also get more experience from my job. I think I will be a good teacher.

    I appreciate your time for reading my letter and I am looking forward to you reply. I hope everything goes well with your life.

    Best regards,

    Li Ke

请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当

第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解

第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解

第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解

第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解

0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

Dear Tom,

This is Li Ke from Beijing. I am writing to you because I am looking for a teaching job. One important reason why I think I will be a good teacher is that I love working with children. If I become a teacher, I will work hard to teach my students and make sure they have a great learning experience. I believe that working with children will bring me joy every day. Although being a teacher can be tiring sometimes, I am willing to put in the effort. Besides, being a teacher will also help me gain more experience in this field. Overall, I believe that I have the qualities and passion to be a good teacher.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I am looking forward to your reply. I hope everything is going well in your life.

Best regards,

Li Ke

总体评价：第三档(13-18分)

修改建议：
1. 建议在信件开头先自我介绍一下，包括你的年龄、性别、教育背景等。这样有助于加强对你的了解。
2. 要明确表达希望获得的教学岗位类型，例如你想教授的年级和科目。
3. 叙述你为什么会成为一名好老师时，可以结合你的教育经验、教学理念或者与孩子们相处的经验来展示你的能力和热情。
4. 注意语法和拼写错误，尤其是动词的时态应该一致并正确使用，例如"will work"和"will be"。
5. 更多地展示你与教学相关的特质和能力，例如沟通能力、组织能力、创造力等。

希望对你有所帮助，加油！